Spring has sprung
The flowers is ris
I wonder where the birdies is?

I wonder what happened to spring starting gradually. Last Thursday night it snowed. Yesterday we had temperatures of 16 degrees. Shouldn't there be a bit in between?

Today is St Patrick's Day, which the whole world seems to know about. Admittedly, it is celebrated by getting as pissed as possible (on guinness an optional extra) but then why do we need an excuse? It was St David's Day on the 1st and the only people I know that really did anything are Welsh. I actually have no idea when St Andrew's Day is and St George's Day is marked by someone mentioning that it's St George's Day. And then some smart-arse pointing out it's also Shakespeare's birthday (I don't think he celebrates it any more). Any every year someone points out that we celebrate the Irish saint's day but not the English one. And people ask for bank holidays but then it's this time of year that we have loads (well, four in 2/3 months, depending on when Easter is). And people say it would be nice to have one in the autumn.

And let's face it, when did we ever need an excuse to drink?

Three memes from undonne and one that isn't:

1) How old do you feel?

Usually about 19 (not quite willing to admit I'm not a student any more). Although at work when I'm being all responsible, about 25. I think I prefer the 19.

2) What is/was your favorite pet's name and why is/was it so great?

Bunny. He was second-hand, so I didn't name him but he was great because he was a bunny. He also loved everyone and was always pleased to see you (which makes a nice change from cats who are only pleased to see you if they think they are going to get fed.)

3) Reveal/discuss something (the more arbitrary the better) you don't usually mention on your LJ, but is a thing/subject/occurence very dear to you.

See point 2 for the rabbits name.

4) Briefly describe your surroundings.

There is a big pile of stuff on the left of my computer which are my computer accessories (ie drives). I have to move them to use the mouse, which is a pain. The Stargate collage photo I have on my wall is going a funny a colour. That do?

5) If love were a sound, what would it sound like?

Ugh, that's like one of those questions we have at work: 'if this product was to come alive as a person...' I so don't do those.

6) What's something you eat that you assume most people don't?

Kosher sausages. And in this country, Tim Tams.

7) Describe your hands.

Small but I can stretch my fingers out a long way. They're also quite dry at the moment, probably due to the cold weather and my gloves falling apart.

1) What's the most interesting place you've ever visited?

I did like Prague - all the cobbled streets with cars and trams going down them. And the fact that the cars are allowed to turn right at a red light certainly made crossing the road interesting.

2) If you had to go live in a book, which one would it be?

I don't know, I'm not sure I like the life I'd have in them. It certainly wouldn't be anything historical - I don't do camping, I need a bed, running water and electricity.

3) Who is your favorite Beatle?

I saw this question and my first thought was it was about the car! In which case, you can't beat a yellow one. As for the real question though, I don't know.

4) What's the most relaxing thing you can think of to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon, or whenever your lazy afternoons are?

Reading

5) If someone left two kittens on your doorstep, what would you name them?

I don't know, I'm crap at thinking up names. It would probably depend on what colour they were.

If you call me...

Nic, you know me in RL
Nick, you can't spell
Paranoidangel, you know me from a forum (TB and HASA are the only ones that immediately spring to mind)
Para, you know me from the TB Forum
PA, you know me from the TB Forum
Paranoid, you've played Quake against me
Nic___, you are either my grandmother or someone who doesn't know I don't answer to that
Nicola, you are either my old doctor or are someone who can't read
Mr {lastname}, you shouldn't be assuming anything
Ms {lastname}, you are someone asking for a punch in the mouth
Miss {lastname}, you are someone official
dear, you're my mother and are being sarcastic

Bloody good thing too! (that 15% comes from actually knowing things about America)

Dear car drivers,

I really don't appreciate you stopping and forcing me to cross the road when you choose. When I'm standing at the side of the road thinking about when to cross I'm not just standing there turning my head from one side to another, I'm planning. I'm looking at what cars are coming, at what speed and deciding when's best to go. If you stop it makes a mess of my plan and I get confused. And don't hoot at me for not crossing when you decide I should, I'll cross whenever I like, okay? And that certainly won't be in front of cars inching forwards.

And while I'm here, I'd appreciate it if you remembered the stuff you learnt when you were learning to drive. Do you remember what indicators are? They inform other drivers and pedestrians where you think you might be going. It's especially useful on roundabouts when we all just assume you're going straight on if you don't tells us otherwise. You aren't allowed to run me over, even if I have crossed in front of you because I assumed you weren't going in that direction. If I waited until I knew for certain no-one was going down that road I'd be standing there all day.

On zebra crossings you aren't allowed on them when I am. It may sound like a stupid rule but it's really disconcerting to hear a car close behind you. It's also nice if you stop when I have a foot on one, not speed up. For a start, I've got right of way. But don't take it to extremes and slow down if I'm anywhere near one. I can wait a couple of seconds for you to get to the other side of it before I cross.

Waiting at a bus stop is not a reason to give anyone a funny look. I know you don't see them very often round here and they are only skippers but there are people without cars that aren't forced to use what we laughing call public 'transport', which the government think we should all be using but haven't got the brains to work out why we're not. I don't think having a brain is in the MP job description.

All you really need to do to make me happy and ensure I don't have a lengthy stay in hospital is to read the Highway Code. It's all in there, really.

Love, Nic (a pedestrian)

There were some map memes going round a while ago which I didn't do because the world one was mostly concentrated in Europe and the US states one had three on. But now I've found a counties one! I have included ones I've been through on this one, as long as it was on the ground and didn't include any I went to while still in my mum's tummy. It may not look like a lot but that's getting quite close to Scotland there!

I've visited the counties in yellow. Which counties have you visited? made by marnanel map reproduced from Ordnance Survey map data by permission of the Ordnance Survey. © Crown copyright 2001.

I'm really behind. I've had a cold for the past week that's made me really tired - especially in the evenings. And now it's got worse - in that I've been blowing my nose more anyway. Plus I'm still really tired - but in the daytimes. Usually I'd be asleep by now (even if I was still standing) but I'm wide awake.

My landlady is having an Ann Summers party, which I'd invited my best friend from home to and now she can't come due to having moved to Guildford and having no money. Now I have to work out who else I can invite who is into that, can make a Friday evening and likes cats. It's cool that she's moved somewhere close - and we're thinking that we should have an Ann Summers party for our birthdays in the spring.

A cool link, courtesy of Altariel: Virtual Bubble Wrap. Manic Mode is cool, although less satisfying.

I won Wee Free Men! I was thinking about how it comes out in paperback in May and how I need to get it. And now I have it. I'm now thinking that I need to get the next one in hardback in May instead of waiting a year, which is not good.

I'm sure my e-mail's gone screwy. I'm not getting some of my yahoo groups lists - I know because they're all on digest so I can work out when I've missed one. And The Bill Forum topic subscription notifications are coming in ages after someone posts, if at all. And that's just the ones I know about. I really don't know what's going on.

I've also managed to be pulled into the middle of a feud two people, both of whom I like, are having on one of the forums I'm on. I'm also still annoyed at www.hywelsimons.co.uk. Well, no, that's not true, I'm annoyed at Delphi Forums for only allowing usernames of 12 letters and cutting paranoidangel to paranoidange with no notice. It doesn't like pa or para either, annoying thing.

I really don't understand women. Most women complain they don't understand men but men are simple: beer, women, football, sex, not necessarily in that order. This lunchtime in the pub the discussion turned to clothes. Apparently, thongs feel really uncomfortable at first but you get used to them. I've heard that one before but what I'd not heard is that they have a tendency to stick out above the waist of your trousers. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one.

Then there are these things like tights that don't go all the way up. At least I think that's what they were talking about. They stick to your legs apparently and hurt when you take them off. I don't quite understand why they don't just wear tights, surely that solves the whole problem? I'm also still trying to work out how hair straighteners can be ceramic and how that can possibly make a difference.

But then, most of the people I've ended up hanging out with at cons have been of the female persuasion. You do always need other girls to obssess at Orlando Bloom with (too girly according to people at work - they obviously don't know a good thing when they see it). Other than that I really can't work out what the difference is beyond the inability of people at work to miss Eastenders.

On a different note, the date today is 2-3-4. Unless you're American, ha!