Not content with merely having a bad day, Barclaycard, in their infinite wisdom decided to change their website, so not only can I not find anything but I couldn't get in either. I'm finally in to my account but it took me three calls to a national rate number.

And Trillian decided for no particular reason to lose all my sounds. And messenger isn't working properly so I can't check if the ones I have now are the right ones because I can't get anyone to message me.

I was comforted as I walked home (while it had actually stopped raining!) by playing a game of If I was Prime Minister:

• It will be illegal for all persons over 5 foot 4 to wear heels
• All trousers have options of 28 inch leg length, go round the waist (as opposed to hips) and be non-flared, all at the same time
• All public transport on a Sunday will run on Saturday timetables
• Ditto Sunday shop opening
• BT to charge only for phone calls made and not line rental
• It is legal to strangle any person whose phone beeps when they press buttons
• Or has a silly ringtone
• It is legal for any person whose music can be heard over their ipod to be taken out and shot
• All phones to have Caller ID as standard
• 1471 to tell you the last 10 numbers that called
• Recycling facilities in every town
• All houses to have wheely bins as standard
• All dentists, opticians etc to pay you to apologise for their torture of you
• Soya and rice milk to cost the same as ordinary milk
• Ditto all wheat and gluten free bread
• Free from options to be offered as standard everywhere
• The prices of all books to be halved
• Ditto magazines - how can they justify charging most of the price of a book for something that takes a lot less time to read?
• No CD to cost more than £5. How can you possibly charge more for one hour of music than for a few hours of DVD?
• All glasses would be free, so as not to discriminate against the short/long sighted/astigmatic population
• Men would pay a higher tax so as to balance out the spending we have to do on sanitary towels/tampons/knickers/washing/pain

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