Do you ever miss the sort of games you played when you were little? Like What's the Time Mr Wolf, Musical Chairs and Wink Murder? Well, miss them no more because Wallingford Rotaract are holding a Retro Birthday Party on 20th October, giving you a chance to be as childish as you want. With the addition of a licensed bar.

Obviously, this offer only extends to people who live near me. If you don't want to have to get home after I have a sofa that more than one person has told me is very comfortable. There's also floor space. (I have space to have people over! It's very exciting!)

It'll cost you £7 to get in, but you do get some party food and there will be opportunities to demonstrate your skills at making paper aeroplanes and pinning the tail on the donkey. And the profits are going to Thames Valley Air Ambulance.

So everyone can hear it: http://www.paranoidangel.me.uk/noise2.wav. It's a 259k file - ignore the first 2 and last 2 seconds where I was getting to the other side of the room where it's loudest. And turn the volume up - I might need to fiddle with my audio settings, but I could do without the background noise for that.

If anyone can tell me:
a) what it is
and more importantly
b) how to stop it
or
c) where my neighbours are so I can get them to come home and stop it.

I might have stopped being rational about it - must be time to leave the house.

My (upstairs) neighbours woke me up at 5.20am last Wednesday morning. They usually get up at 6am, so I wondered if maybe they were going on holiday. There was blissful silence after that, so my conclusion is that they have. Everything was great - I got more sleep, I was more awake, it was nice.

Apart from Saturday night when the noise started. It was a few months ago when I first heard it and since then it's been maybe every couple of weeks that I've heard it, although sometimes not for very long. The longest until now was when I was off ill with a head injury. It started after the neighbours left for work. I heard them get home - door slam and footsteps, then it stopped mid-creak.

I should explain at this point that I can't really describe this noise very well. Someone on the street was doing some hammering at the weekend and it was that frequency, but the noise isn't banging it's more of a creaking sound really. I have never heard it before in my life and have no idea what it is. Except it seems to be coming from upstairs, and it's loudest next to an outside wall, so no one else in the block hears it, I suspect.

I discovered Saturday night that a fresh set of ear plugs blocked it out enough to sleep. Sunday I though it had stopped because it was quiet for three hours. After that it was off and on. Last night it was on for a few minutes every half hour. And by half hour I mean on the hour and half past pretty much exactly.

This morning it didn't make a sound for a 50 minutes I was awake and in the house. So I was hopeful it was improving at least. Tonight I've been home for over an hour and a half and I don't think it's stopped for asa much as a minute yet. I have a headache and can't concentrate - when it does stop that all magically goes away and comes back when the noise does.

So now I am really hoping the neighbours are only going away for a week and will be back tomorrow, because anything is better than this. The only bright spot in tonight is that I have to leave the house in just under half an hour.