Dear Tesco

Taking a red grapefruit, putting a 'pink grapefruit' sticker on it and putting it in the pink grapefruit section does not make it a pink grapefruit.

No love,
Me
(missing her pink grapefruit)

Due to the party tonight, I have a fridge that smells of jelly and a freezer of poisonous ice cream. Other poisonous foods are in the boot of my car. Which I had to de-steam before I could go anywhere yesterday - winter has definitely arrived.

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