I got the I Want One of Those catalogue in the post this week (I got post!). I was convinced I hadn't ordered anything from them since I moved, but I have a feeling they were the only people I could find a backwards clock from, which explains how they have my new address. The only trouble with the catalogue is that I don't actually need any of these things and can't really afford any of them. But, here is a list of the things I would fill my house with if I was a millionaire.

Farmyard Keyrings - Keyrings that are also a torch and make the appropriate sound. How cool are they?

Lavalamp phone charm and TARDIS phone charm - so cool but completely useless as my phone is generally buried in my bag where I don't hear it ring, so don't answer it and in fact don't really use it at all.

Book Shelf - If i could put nails in my walls... It's a book shelf that looks like a pile of books, so if you pile your books on it it looks like you have a pile of books suspended mid-wall. OK, so they're books I'd never own, but it's still cool.

Wall Pets - another thing I couldn't put on my wall, but it's a furry moose head, how can you not want one?

Cuddles the Chimp - it's a cuddly chimp that makes noises. If they only did a rabbit version I'd have bought it already.

Voice Command Dalek - Never mind all these remote control daleks, this is more like it. Never mind that it's £100, I need one of these! The description of it cracked me up too.

Things to stick in those non-existant spare USB ports: USB Fridge, USB Missile Launcher, USB Hamster Wheel, USB Chameleon, USB Panic Button. You'd need another hub just to stick these in. Oh, look they even do a TARDIS one

Bendi Light Up Keyboard - mind you, the amount of crumbs in my keyboard at work I probably do need one of these.

Remote Control Changer - it's a remote control shaped like a gun. So you change channels by shooting the TV.

The one thing they don't have any more, which I also want, is Sam the synthetic animated moggy. He looks like an asleep cat, and when you stroke him he breathes and purrs. As long as his batteries don't need changing.

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