My jeans all seem to be getting holey, so yesterday, when I went out for some apples and an armchair, I thought I'd look in a couple of shops to see what they had. Bearing in mind that I can't wear flared trousers because I need them to stop at my shoes to keep me from walking on them and I can't wear hipsters because I have no hips.

I started with New Look because I know their size 8 trousers fit me and they do trousers with short leg lengths. And indeed, they have average (30'), short (28'), long (32') and extra long (34'). Short is only slightly too long on me, so they're fine. They do all sorts of different jeans, but if you want size 8 you're supposed to be tall, because I could only find 32' and 34' leg lengths. Which is unhelpful. Their 915 (ie kids) section only does flared hipsters.

So I went next door to QS, who had cheaper jeans. Except they don't go smaller than a size 10. So I thought I'd try them anyway. I wasn't terribly impressed to find that they were the same leg length as an age 13/14 because I could tell without trying them on that they were too long. Age 13 fits me usually, but not when they pair it with age 14 and therefore design it for tall people.

You could get two of me in the size 10 waist and when I held it up to my current jeans I found out why: they're hipsters. They just come up to my waist. There's too much material there to wear with a belt because it's really uncomfortable having your entire trouser round the front.

So at some point I am going to need to find some ordinary, straight-legged, non-hipster jeans designed for short people. Admittedly I need to go somewhere with more shop I'm not at all convinced such a thing exists. (I also get bored after one shop and give up and go to the bookshop instead, which doesn't help.) I also want decent sized pockets and not to spend more than about £10, but I suspect I might be onto a loser with those requirements.

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