I’ve been wanting to write about this for ages, but wanted to wait until I had the complete story first.

Back in January, once I’d settled in, I remembered that the last time I moved the water company insisted on installing a water meter, on the basis that I’d just moved in. I didn’t get as far as ringing them up about it before they sent me a letter. So that was all good because it costs a whole lot less to have a water meter.

So a man came round, handily the day I had off before I went to Redemption. He told me there was already a meter there, it just needed connecting. It all went a bit downhill from there…

The next thing I got was an ordinary water bill for 2009 for a lot of money. It takes a bit of time for them to put the meter in, but I worked out it should be just before I need to pay the bill. Just in case they worked out how much I’d have to pay per month – so once they have that on file you only have to pay a certain amount by a certain date per month, rather than the whole thing back in March.

So then nothing happened. According to the website it can take three months – I felt sure it had said six weeks before, but I paid a twelfth of the bill anyway. Once three months rolled around – so we’re at the end of May here, I rang them up. They promised it would be done, just take a bit longer and to give it another month.

To be on the safe side, I waited until the beginning of July to ring them again. They told me they were doing a review of all the meters/water around where I lived, but I would hear something within twenty working days.

I waited 21 working days, then rang them again. I pointed out that given that I was paying far more than I would on a meter, it’s not in their best interest to lift a finger. They looked it up and found I’d rung quite a few times and passed my case onto complaints.

Complaints rang me the next working day (as they only work 9-5 Monday-Friday) and finally told me what had really happened. There was a water meter there, but it was connected up to a different flat in a different building. They didn’t know what to do about this, so they filed it and did nothing. Funnily enough, I was less than impressed about this.

But the woman I spoke to said they’d get their own man out to have a look, it would just take a month. He duly came and confirmed the situation and said he’d sort it.

Complaints rang the next day to say it was being sorted and they would send me out a bill within the next month. Guess what happened next? Nothing. But, since they’d said they’d be sending me a new bill, I stopped paying the old one.

Three months later – this week – I finally got a letter from them. They’ve calculated up how much I would have paid if I’d had a meter fitted from the start and how much I’ve actually paid and funnily enough, I’d over paid – to the tune of all the water I’d use this year and half of next year. So I won’t be paying any water bills for a while.

I know – and everyone else knows too – that they’re useless, but this really was a new level of uselessness I’d not come across before. They have the same problem as BT* – there’s no competition, so there’s no incentive for them to be any good.

*OK, so BT do have competition, but they’re so shit there’s no way I’d consider going with them, even if they paid me

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