I have updated my site, but the ftp couldn't connect, so I'll try again later. Annoyingly, I don't have a photo of me with Garwin, but I'll have to ask if anyone else does. It was only when I was playing about with my photos that I realised I have to scan in the ones of me with the guests (well, JR and Chris, I have my eyes closed with Jay, so I won't bother). I'm not sure whats going on with the one with Douggie as its so bright you can't see my face. I hate giving my camera to other people, because you have no control over how the photos are going to come out.

Spent loads of money this weekend. I found Never Been Kissed in Virgin. Its strange how much the character of Sam Coulson shares with Vaughn. And then ordered some books. Had to use amazon as the internet bookshop don't seem to have two of the books I want, which is a bit shit, frankly. At least all the ones I want are out, so I can get them all delivered at the same time. And then I bought my Gatecon ticket. My credit card bill next month is going to be hideous, as the hotel bill from last weekend will also be on it!

Have to go back to work tomorrow. That's a bugger. My boss asked my on Friday (as I was leaving and was therefore tired and not in the mood) whether I was feeling motivated to get the stuff I was doing right. If course not! My only motivation in going there at all is that I need the money. Although I did get quite excited when I discovered the printer can photocopy two-sided to two-sided on its own without you having to put the paper back in at all. Its quite sad really.

I've also decided not up update my livejournal any more. I can't be doing with it really, but I'm going to keep the id in case I want to use it again, or comment in other peoples or contribute to any communities.

Haven't posted for a while due to being tired. I got 3.5 hours of sleep Sunday night (entirely my own fault) and not that much more any night before that. Then it took me 9 hours to get from Blackpool train station to Oxford train station on Monday, where I was constantly changing trains (busy) and sitting around at Birmingham for so long I thought I wasn't getting home. Not good. And just realised I haven't told my video The Bill is only an hour long tonight. But new Buffy!

Anyway, will maybe do some website stuff this weekend as my photos will be back by then (I took 2 films worth!). Spent serious amounts of money even before Chris Judge's talk on Sunday. Where I paid half of �150 to grope Garwin Sanford (Narim). I'd much rather it had been JR's (Martouf) but he was too expensive, plus it was apparently quite bony. Garwin did at least have a nice arse, even if he is nearly the same age as my mother.

Er, what else. All the usual stuff really. Will put something on my site maybe, or write it in here when I'm feeling more inspired. I must do something with this as well, I've been getting inspiration from reading other people's recently.

Meant to write in this yesterday, but got tired and went to bed about half ten. Then couldn't get to sleep, so ended up watching a bit of Stargate Director's Cut at quarter to midnight. I have noticed some differences as well. Not entirely certain if they're better or worse yet though. Still totally indecisive about going travelling, hence the not sleeping. I should just see how it goes really, try to do some more IT at work, and if I want to go, it doesn't necessarily have to be next summer. I did realise that I really want to see the Northern Lights (can't spell technical name!). Everything I can pretty much take or leave to be honest. Then I'll have seen just about every stellar phenomena there is.

Been watching loads of Alias recently. I've just realised how good it is. Stupidly went to find some websites and accidentally read some spoilers for episodes I haven't seen yet, which is annoying. But I think some of them won't really make sense until I get to those episodes anyway, and I might well have forgotten them. I found some read hair dye in Boots, that is pretty much the colour I want and only lasts 3 washes, which is good. Unfortunately, you need blonde hair for it to work. Bugger.

Run out of other things to do now! Meant to do some work on my website, but haven't got round to it. Need to stop typing though, hand hurts. Will go and watch Stargate instead maybe (bugger all on TV of course).

Didn't manage to stay up late to watch Star Trek after Monday because it was just too cold. Hurt my right hand this week by doing loads of writing for work. Halfway through The Bill on Wednesday I had to stop cross stitching because my hand hurt a bit. I had noticed it wasn't too god at work but didn't think anything of it. Until I did some epee Thursday night! Luckily hardly anyone was in on Friday, so I got away with not doing very much work. I had to use my left hand for the mouse and type with my left, which I am quite quick at, but I did get quite frustrated with it though. But every time I used my right hand it hurt too much! I haven't done much with it this weekend, so hopefully it'll be fine for all of Monday.

Went to STA Travel on Saturday. So now I've got all of these brochures and I'm getting quite excited about going. There is the matter of a job when I get back though. I think that if I go next summer, then when I come back I can sort my life out, live somewhere nice and buy a new computer. Not sure. I'm going to talk to people who've done it though, and about what I might need to go into IT. And exactly what I can do in the industry as well. I will have to make a decision soon though. I'm not sure if its possible to spend all that time away and only life on stuff you can carry with you!

OMG. She tells him! How can I possibly wait till Wednesday now! Was having kind of a bad day. Was actually quite busy at work, then ended up not going to fencing. But I beat the rules - I phoned him! Which was nice. I have to fit Emma in sometime now if she manages to ring when I'm in sometime before Sunday. Wonder if I could dust and hoover Sunday after I pack Claire off home? And why is it Channel 4 advertise Enterprise and Alias so much, but not Stargate, and I haven't seen BBC2 advertise Farscape. Getting excited about going to see the tennis on Saturday now. How am I going to get through tomorrow, specially when I don't really have any work to do.

Why is it that despite me not doing all the in things, or at least thinking that I don't, I do? I remember not doing my coat up at school because it wasn't in. I was really quite surprised when people did at uni. I still do it though. I mean, if its really cold then I will do my coat up, but once I get near where I'm trying to get to I undo it. Its not just that either. Its also the not ringing blokes thing. I still kind of have a thing about ringing people, and I only have his mobile number so it'll cost a lot, and I can't think of anything to say. I mean, where do I start?

Dr Jackson's Diary is really not helping. Its full of sex. Admittedly its written by a bloke (fictionally speaking, anyway) and everyone knows thats all they think about. And what is it with that looking thing? I find it really unnerving, Emma likes it. At least you know where you stand, I suppose.

Shit. Who's reading this stuff anyway? Think I'd better not advertise the link on the front page. Really must update my site. And eat, I'm hungry. Wonder if Sarah will be back before 11.40 and whether I'll be awake enough to watch Highlander?

Tired, as per usual on a Friday really. Got a postcard from Wadjet with a picture of the Niagara Falls on, which was a really nice thing to come home to after a crap day of work. Not least because its my only piece of post since Monday that hasn't been junk mail. Its not ever bill time of the month! Hope Stargate tapes while I'm away because its a good one I'd quite like to see again. Must look up what time train I'm looking for when I get to Birmingham becuase I'll have no idea where it'll be going. Was planning on having an early night. Hmm. Too tired to type any more.

Not going to try going to Tescos after work again (at least not until after they've finished the road works in Didcot). I whipped round in 10 minutes, so the bus driver coming back from Didcot decided to go a different route, so I had to wait 40mins for the next one to come along, who luckily took me all the way into Didcot and back, because I was really cold by this point. It's just as well I wasn't planning on doing anything tonight. Its just been one of those days at work today as well. And the rain made it get dark earlier, which just made the whole thing more depressing.

I have to take the Rotaract meeting tomorrow, which'll be kind of scary. I'm not sure there'll be many people there though, and there's not much to say, so shouldn't be too bad. Should be a short meeting as well. Maybe I'll get through more of the SG3 video.

I tried to post this at 8.25pm on 2nd Sept, but blogger was being a bugger and didn't post it:

Didn't have a terribly good weekend, then today was really shite. I pretty much spent the day working on one project, on which everything that could go wrong did go wrong. And its still not finished. Will be nice to get it out of the way though. Discovered my landlady's cats have fleas because I've been bitten and also because I've seen them. Looking forward to going home this weekend as it'll be relaxing (yeah, right). Will have to go to Tescos, so might as well go to the cinema while I'm there as I still haven't seen Minority Report and The Importance of Being Earnest comes out on Friday, which I really want to see. Plus if I don't take my computer home I'll only get bored anyway.

Managed to miss Hywel this weekend, which was pretty much the reason for going to The Bill studios. Hopefully though I'll be able to get the day off for the next one, which will be before he leaves. I still have about 10 photos left on my film as well, which I'll need to use up at the Davis Cup match. Almost getting excited about that as well, not that much because I haven't really seen any of the US Open because BBC2 only show the semi-finals onwards, if that, which isn't much help as non of our guys are left in by that stage. And the year that Rusedski got to the final they didn't show it at all! I remember listening to it on the radio at 11 o'clock at night, in the dark, lying in bed, trying not to fall asleep. Have at least managed to find some good fic at the SG1 2002 Awards site, which is something.

Annoying as not going fencing tonight as can't get a lift. Was feeling bored after The Bill, but rang Emma and had a conversation that didn't involve blokes at all We did discuss hair though. I have this urge to dye mine red. And by red I mean RED. Trouble is, my hair is so dark no hair dye would make enough of a difference, so you'd have to bleach it first and that tends to last for a while. I only want to do it red for a few weeks. Think I ought to go and watch Vets, send some e-mails and go to bed really now. Really ought to take advantage of my landlady not being here and catch up on some sleep. Would watch some satellite TV as well, but there's just nothing worth watching (at least nothing that doesn't clash with The Bill).

Can't believe its Tuesday already. The weekend didn't really feel like the 3-day one for some reason. I did get loads of things done. The website's finished, I just really wanted to use pipex's stats, but they are being useless, so I will have to get another Bravenet account (which means more junk mail). Then I will upload it and take down the old one (shock! horror!). There are some bits that need updating, and others I haven't bothered with because they need lots doing to them and I need to get it done. I made a few CDs, but need to get some more mp3s before I can do more. It was excellent, although by Monday night I realised I wanted to go back to work, otherwise I'd have been bored if I'd had another day of that. Still didn't play any computer games though.

I went ice-skating on Saturday, which was really good. I realised I hadn't been for a year and I really missed it. The skates were horrible though, they really cut into my ankles, more than at Planet Ice or Ice Trax ever did. I must go more often though. It counts as exercise though. Which is good because I finally decided I need to do something about the stone I've put on since I left uni. Its horrible to think I actually have to do something, but more exercise (walking doesn't count because it doesn't seem to work for me), but eating less. The last time I did that was for an entirely different reason, but I did lose half a stone that way. So I'm not eating between meals now (except in the mornings when I'm at work because its such a long time between breakfast and lunch). Sadly I'm still in the hungry stage, but it'll go. It has to, otherwise I'm in danger of having even more problems buying clothes than I do now!

I tried creating one of those cool trading cards at livejournal, so of course it doesn't work with my look and I'm too tired to mess about with the HTML. Plus I'm sure livejournal is doing something strange to it. Having used blogger and livejournal I think I prefer blogger. I think livejournal is good for communty-type things, but I don't have time for those anyway. I have enough community stuff of my own going on anyway.

I can't believe the discussions on the forum going on at the moment about the kiss. I didn't like it, but that was more because of the circumstances surrounding it, and because I knew Hywel didn't like doing it. I don't know exactly why, he must have known that playing a gay character would mean having to kiss a bloke at some stage. I've also just realised thebill.com answered all the questions I had about Sean (ie they've been going out for 2 years and he's a computer programmer). Although I wouldn't call 2 years the "all these years" Sean claimed they'd been together, but still.

Tired because keep waking up early (like 8am) which is really annoying when I don't have to. Maybe I should stay up later tonight in the hope that I'll sleep later, although it probably won't work and I'll end up getting even less sleep.

Calming down a bit now. I was in a state of shock over tonights Bill. In my defence it was very dramatic. I felt tired before the episode started, but by the end I couldn't stop moving - just nervous energy I think. I had a really boring day at work as well, as there wasn't much work on really. Which is kind of a good thing at the moment.

I think my landlady's gone on holiday. Her car and toothbrush are gone and I know she's supposed to be going soon. Its just as well I didn't let the cat throw up on the video then. I think I will get an early night while it is quiet. And it is nice to get some peace and quiet, it does my head no end of good. Which is probably just as well, given that I've nearly run out of pills - didn't quite manage a pill free day today, sadly.

Virgin sent me a 5 pound voucher - which is not 25% of 40 quid. I checked their passengers charter on their website and it says if the trains are late so you arrive at your destination an hour or more late you are entitled to 25% of your ticket price. Also, if you have to wait at a station for an hour they'll provide you with free drinks. Which is very interesting. I'll wait to see how much I get for the journey up there, then I'll get another complaint form to complain about the complaint. Maybe it was because I used a different address they didn't know it was me, so are trying to fob me off, thinking I don't know the system. Well, they have another think coming!

Got in at 4.30 today, then really couldn't be bothered to do anything! Because I slept in yesterday I wasn't tired enough to go to bed at a reasonable time, so I'm tired again now. You just can't win. I did at least do my statement (eventually) and got my Tescos shopping, and they actually managed to deliver everything for the first time ever! I think thats pretty much the theme for this week, at least till Thursday when I get to rush about. I must do some of my website. Trouble is I tend to feel dynamic and getting things done first thing, so its really hard to go to work and come home and do all the things I'm supposed to be getting done. I really want to lie on my bed and watch something crap, but there's nothing on. At least all the things that are on are too crap. Wish I had UK Gold. *sigh*

I knew there was something I hadn't done - the puzzle! Off to do that now then, and send a text message, I think.

I haven't updated for a while due to spending the last four days (not including today, I was sleeping today) at The Bill studios. When I look through the list of the current cast I've actually managed to see most of them (except for Hywel Simons who wasn't in, damnit). Been a really weird day today. Slept in late, so not tired now, which means I won't get much sleep tonight and so I'll be tired all week. You just can't win. Watched two episodes of Stargate, and the Andromeda episode with Michael Shanks. I still don't understand the Andromeda character at all. But he looked good, so never mind. And the Farscape was just weird. Which I suppose is typical Farscape really.

Haven't been to work since Tuesday, and not going back till Friday, which is cool. I'm off on a four day First Aid course from Monday. Then Friday I'm going to Leeds to see some friends (hoping they'll rearrange the Emmerdale-Bill cricket match to then, but I doubt it as it'll be too short notice really) and not coming back here till Monday. Then things'll be back to normal, which will actually seem quite strange! No more days off till the end of October. Long time really.

I was going to watch some late night Enterprise, but its a crap one, so maybe I'll read some fanfic instead. Didn't quite manage to watch 24 earlier due to it being really boring. They should have finished at 8am, its been really patchy since then. I'm looking forward to the end just so it'll all be over. I'm expecting the usual American saccharine ending, but hoping everyone'll die, which'll be much more interesting. But won't allow them to have another series, which I don't think they should do anyway. The only reason it's done well is because its original, which is a feature a second series won't have.

I can't believe the tiny amount its rained today, given that its been so humid today its been horrible. I really think my landlady has far too many mirrors in her bathroom. I made the mistake of turning the shower on after I had undressed and caught sight of myself in the mirror above the bath. If that isn't an advert for keeping your clothes on I don't know what is. It doesn't help that afterwards when you turn round you can see yourself in the other two mirrors!

I was feeling so terrible at work this afternoon because it was so hot. I had to get up every 10 minutes otherwise I stuck to the chair. And its too humid to put my washing out. Although thats mainly because I keep thinking that it might actually really rain. Maybe I should put my washing back out to purposely make it rain. I hope it isn't so hot for the rest of the week. I at least won't be at work, but I'll probably be getting up earlier, being busier and getting less sleep, as per usual. And I really need to sort out the insoles in my canvas shoes. Its impossible to keep them in the right place, as I walk they move forwards and my feet hurt.

I would just like to say exactly how annoying it is when you're typing something in explorer, press backspace to delete something and it goes to the previous page and deletes everything you've written. But only sometimes, sometimes its okay to press the button. Blogger kept my text though, thank goodness.

I was sitting in the shade yesterday so I thought it was a bit chilly, but today was definitely very hot! Yesterday was the Beeblebears Picnic in Battersea Park, which was fun. Everytime I go to one I think I must get a Beeblebear, but haven't quite managed it so far. Then I met up with some friends from uni, so it was good to catch up. Its quite refreshing to spend time with them because nothing much has changed since we left, unlike people at work who are all boring and getting married etc.

Went to Reading today and got, among other things, a bigger blow-up chair. Its really comfortable to sit in, even if I am a bit too close to the TV when I'm in it. Sadly, there's no space for it in my room! Its sitting at one end at the moment, so I can't get to my clothes rail or the bookcase with my food on.

So glad I only have a 2 day week, specially if it'll be hot. Looking forward to going to The Bill studios, and should be going to see some other friends in London while I'm there. Its quite strange going from having your friends within walking distance and seeing them nearly every day, to only seeing them every couple of months. Although if I go travelling I'll see them even less during that time.

Was really pissed off about it being hot earlier, but I've had a shower and cooled down a bit now, so feeling better. Plus had a few text messages and e-mails from various friends, which was cool. And the most recent Jedi Quest book in the post. Although my social life's suddenly getting much more complicated. For some reason Wallingford has smelt of country animals (ie stinks) since last night. Its really annoying, because its too hot to close my window, but I need a peg on my nose!

Was going to go and watch the raft race this evening, but stayed in because I had a load of things to do. Not that I've actually got that much done, but still Pipex is being crap at the moment. I'm trying to get a site tracker for my site (as they host it), but they send an e-mail for confirmation and you have to use the username and password they send within 24 hours. Trouble is, they haven't sent me any e-mails. I know the e-mail addresses I used work, because I checked. You just can't get the staff. Not least because I had a notification that I had (junk) e-mail at another account, but it apparently doesn't exist!

And why is it I always seem to have a complicated yet non-existant love-life?

Suddenly don't have much time as I have to leave in 15mins to go out for a meal at a pub, no idea where it is. Also have to sort out going up to Leeds in a few weeks as people are trying to make it complicated and going travelling, specially as my boss asked me about that one today. I did at least go to the STA travel site, I think I need to decide where I want to go and try and speak to someone, which means going in on a Saturday, as they're not open on Sundays.

My job an everything are actually going okay at the moment, but I'm sure it could be a lot better. People were talking about someone's hen night they went on that I wasn't invited to, which only makes me realise how little I have in common with all of the people there. They're okay, just boring. Their main topics of conversation are Eastenders, Big Brother, weddings and houses, and I'm really not interested in any of them. The blokes are a bit better, although they do talk about football quite a lot, which is also boring.

Must go and read my e-mails and sort myself out. Thought I'd have an hour to let my hair dry, which would be plenty, but ended up with more like 20mins due to leaving work late (was sitting there watching a macro run in excel) then realised I had to get some milk as I forgot at lunchtime. Have loads of things I need to do when I get back later now!

I've been at home for the weekend, which has been nice, especially as I have been playing on the wireless adsl network!

Saturday I went to Winspit quarry, near Swanage for a water pistol fight, which was great fun as always. As it has been so hot for a week it was nice to get wet It was nice to see all my friends down here as well.

The only thing about being at home is that every day is the same, as no-one is at work or school or anything. At least I only have a four-day week to go back to, and I'm busy every evening, so it won't be long until the weekend when I can go and see some different friends.

It so much nicer being at home, because its home. Although it is a bit in the middle of nowhere (although more buses here, admittedly, its difficult for there to be fewer). Due to my burnt finger I've not been re-doing my website. But it will look like this page (although none of the links here work). And I'll work out how to use this blogger thing sometime soon.