Yesterday is the one year anniversary of me being ill. But since it was Rotaract last night I didn’t get the time to post here between that and the skating and the curling (only 8 round robin matches to go!). I’m a lot better than I was a year ago, but then I had labyrinthitis and couldn’t move without feeling like I was on a Waltzer. Now I’m just recovering from it.

I feel ok about it at the moment, but that’s because I’m having a good week. At the moment my aims are:

• To stay up late for the general election, if I get one for my birthday, as is being predicted (everyone I’ve told about this thinks I’m crazy, but it’s exciting! Especially at the moment when it’s not clear who’ll win).
• To go to Wimbledon on the first Thursday – when we have tickets for Centre Court! – and get through the day (it’s usually tiring…)
• To go on some days out this year, like I was planning to last year
• To go back to New York to see hhertzof’s bunnies and Flushing Meadow, and maybe go back to Canada too, since I can only cope with America for a week and that’s pushing it. This I obviously can’t do until I’m really sure I’m better, so that’s probably more likely to be next year at this rate.

In contrast to last year, I’m not planning anything at all this year because I have absolutely not idea at all when I might be better.

I can nearly breathe out of my nose. This wouldn’t normally be an achievement but it is the first time in a week. My mouth and throat were so dry that I was drinking 1.5l of water a day, which is ridiculous. I know you’re supposed to drink 2l a day, but I was going to the toilet every hour and only really drink about half a litre a day usually. I just don’t have the capacity for large amounts of liquid.

And a drabble meme from lost_spook I’ve been waiting to put up until I’m feeling well enough to think:

The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request that I write a drabble of any pairing/character with a prompt. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level.

Although feel free to ignore that last sentence – it’s not like I’m going to be checking. By first ten people, I mean first ten notifications in my inbox regardless of whether they come from my blog, LJ or DW.

There’s a list of fandoms I’ve written in on the left of my fanfic archive, but feel free to request anything I know. If I really can’t write it I’ll just get you to pick something else.

It’s just one thing after another at the moment. Last week I was doing really well, felt really good and consequently overdid it. So this week I’ve felt terrible and been busy, which hasn’t helped. I’m just at the point of starting to feel a bit better again and now I have a cold.

Why can’t I just sleep until I’m better? Or more to the point, why is it that whenever I put 301 on there’s either no Australian Open or they’re just finishing? And why do we always have to listen to Sam Smith rabbiting on annoyingly?

There were all these things I was going to do with my week off (apart from watch/listen to a lot of tennis). I knew I’d be fine because I’d get a lot of sleep and wouldn’t have to do much.

At least, that was the theory. In practise yesterday’s random asthma has turned into a cold and sore throat. I don’t have a blocked up nose, but the rest of me feels bad enough to make up for it.

So everything will have to be wait and I’m just hoping I’ll feel well enough to go to Collectormania on Saturday, not least because I’ve paid for some bits of it already. I really wish I was the sort of person that sleeps when they’re ill, because at least then I wouldn’t feel like this.

I had an MRI on Monday, which I’ve been meaning to write about all week, but it’s been a bitch of a week. So have a review of my week, including what it’s like to have an MRI (when you’re dizzy). Read more…

I am off to see the World All Round Gymnastics Finals tomorrow, in the Millennium Dome, so I have tomorrow and this afternoon off. Which is probably just as well because I’m quite dizzy and a bit snotty. I suspect the two things are related. On the plus side, when I’m recovering on Saturday there is at least plenty to watch, despite there being no Merlin (the TV series).

Everyone who signed up for the Sarah & Harry ficathon got a story in, which I am glad about. I wrote Not Just a Pretty Face. There was quite a bit of time between me putting everything into the posting box and actually coming up with a title…

I got all excited looking at fandoms for Yuletide. How I’m going to narrow it down to four, I don’t know.

Today, or yesterday depending on how you count it, I’ve been ill for seven months.

Things I have been doing:

Watched Generation Kill, which turned out to be surprisingly good. After seven episodes I can name seven characters, which is pretty good going (Ray, Trombley, Reporter, Brad, LT, Captain America (who I recognise from somewhere but can’t work out where), Godfather). Plus there’s also the bloke that wears glasses who lost his helmet. There may or may not have been other speaking characters, I got a bit confused – they all dress the same, it doesn’t help!

I finished v2 of my Sarah and Harry ficathon story. So I have a draft or two to go and it will be about 5000 words. Handily, the SG Rare Pairings ficathon starts up once that’s done and I’m hoping there will be some Jack/Elizabeth prompts for me to write (and I’ll be leaving some, just as soon as I work out what). Then there’ll be Yuletide and I so want to add Teachers to the list of fandoms. And after one episode of Merlin I want to request Gaius & Merlin again.

I’m meeting Avon on Sunday, yay!

I have a new shower. It’s cunningly fitted into the corner of the bath so if you want to stand under it you have to stand on the bit of the bath that starts going upwards. So I take it down – which required me to take the shower head off so I could get it out from the middle of the soap dish so it would actually stretch far enough to shower with, and to rinse the bath with.

There really isn’t anything else at all going on in my life at the moment. Just lots of things I want to do.

I am so bored. It’s not lack of things to do, it’s not being able to do things I want to do. It’s a really nice day outside with sunshine and blue sky and probably getting quite warm by now. I’d love to go and do something active, but the best I can really do is a slow walk to the shops and back again and then I’ll need a lie down afterwards. But I want to play on the Wii and go swimming and go off somewhere on the train since the station is so close. But I can’t do any of those things.

Instead I’ve taken a load of people off my LJ friends list, mostly because they didn’t post and it’s not as if there aren’t other ways of reading my friends locked posts on the rare occasions that I make them. I can’t remember when the last one was. I added people on Twitter, though, on the basis that I play with them in TR regularly so I feel like I ought to know them a bit. I did add loads of people before but it was just too much to keep up with, so I am keeping the numbers of people I’m following on Twitter down for the moment.

The most exciting thing I’ve done all week was yesterday when I got my hair cut and bought some coconut ice from the olde sweet shop that’s new in town. And then found my shower didn’t work when it came to washing my hair… I need to phone my landlord but can’t quite work up the enthusiasm. It doesn’t help that my letter from the estate agents with his name and number just gives his first initial and last name and I failed to write down his first name. I might be able to remember it except that his first initial and last name are exactly the same as someone at work, so all I can remember is that his first name isn’t the same…

This week hasn’t been too bad a week. It helped that it was only four days long and working from home Thursday afternoon. Although I spent the whole week confused so I forgot that it was the day I buy the newspaper until Thursday evening. It is all on the website, it’s just such a pain to read that way, I’d far rather have the paper.

This weekend I even felt well enough to clean the flat and go out to Sainsburys, so that’s an achievement. I’d quite like to go out for a walk at some point, as I currently get no exercise. I couldn’t fit that round cleaning, though, but maybe next weekend I’ll do that instead.

I’m onto the head moving exercises, which are really hard. But I knew they were going to be because I already don’t nod or shake my head, and try not to turn round at work when I hear something interesting from behind me.

I am working on watching all the stuff on my PVR so I actually have some space to tape everything that starts this autumn. After having had the prompt for a week I managed to come up with the whole plot for my Sarah & Harry ficathon story. I even started writing it. I seem to be on about 300 words at a time at the moment, which is about half my usual, but will get there in the end as long as I keep up with it.

For some inexplicable reason half the week’s TV is on tonight (Last Chance to See, Miss Marple (who I don’t like as much as Poirot) and Joanna Lumley doing something with cats. And the US Open is on the radio from tomorrow, so hopefully there’ll be lots of exciting tennis to listen to and they’ll get it done quickly because I really can’t stay up late these days.

And now I need to have a lie down so I won’t be too dizzy to cook dinner.

I am doing better this week. Sunday morning I went out to the community project and mostly stood around and looked at it because they’d all worked hard on Saturday to get most of it done. But at least I got out of the house and a bit of sunshine. Then I spent the afternoon lying down.

So far this week at work’s been alright, although I haven’t managed to leave early any day. This morning was particularly interesting as we all moved offices. I knew it was going to be this week, just didn’t realise it would be this morning! I was ok, sitting down packing stuff up until I realised I was really dizzy. So stopped packing and did some work until I realised I was so dizzy I felt sick. Just walking to the toilet I couldn’t do without holding onto something! So then I spent some time lying on a hard, dusty desk directing other people to move my stuff. Who then got to unpack it at the other end, since I clearly wasn’t up to it.

On the plus side, the new office has sofas in the staff room, so I can lie down at lunchtimes! And any other times I need to, as long as no one’s having a confidential meeting in there.

So I am feeling a lot better than last week and am hoping to move on to exercise 3 this week, maybe… And go up to Banbury on Sunday where there’s the other big Rotaract event of the year – a camping rally. Although I’ll just be going up for the day, since I need sleep and can’t walk in the dark.

At the moment, with being ill, doing a normal five day week is really hard going, and that’s 37.5 hours. This week I’ve done about 40. I managed to be able to go home an hour early on Thursday, and it was really good to be able to have a lie down before cooking dinner at a reasonable time without having to resort to eating a pot potato. Then Friday was ok, and if it had stayed like that I might have been ok. Except that I was stupidly busy from 3.30 to 6.30.

I was so tired Friday night. I wasn’t too bad this morning, but I’ve mostly felt terrible since then. But tomorrow I am determined to be well enough to go to our community project because it will take my mind off it and maybe some fresh air will help a bit. Plus there is going to be a barbecue in the cul-de-sac tomorrow afternoon (they put a note through my door after I’d gone to bed last night!), so if I was in I’d have to close the windows against the smell, and I have no intention of going to a barbecue with people I don’t know where I’d have to explain why I can’t eat anything and why I can’t stand up without holding onto something. I really don’t have the energy for that.

But today I have watched two more episodes of Teachers (I have five to go until the point where I definitely started watching it) and I’ve been reading Bernice Summerfield: The Inside Story, which is big and heavy, but really interesting.

And my new mp3 player arrived, which is better and brighter pink than the old one. I just have to use Windows Explorer to transfer files, and I loathe Explorer in Vista, it’s designed so you can never find anything. On my netbook I have to use Amarok, which took me ages to work out how to get it to recognise my mp3 player and transfer files to it, but that was mostly because I was looking in the wrong place.

Also, sign-ups have started for the second Sarah & Harry ficathon. There clearly needs to be a Harry ficathon too, but not till next year because this one won’t finish till October and then Yuletide will be starting up. And I’ll have a working internet connection for it this time!

I do mean to update this more often, but I’m so behind on everything in my life it’s just not funny. The last week of Wimbledon was so hot – around 30C, and humid – that it was just too hot to do anything. Well, I watched Wimbledon (and am now sad it’s all over – no more tennis till the US Open and that’s only on the radio), but my TV puts out a lot of heat. I could only use my laptop or netbook if I sat back from them and used the wireless keyboard, so my hands didn’t get too hot. And I even got hot sitting under the light. But I did a lot of reading.

Then it got cooler again and I planned to do lots, but I had a busy couple of days at work and that nearly wrote off last week. The crowning glory was being really sick that I thought was a stomach bug, but might actually be an intolerance reaction to something. I don’t know what, but I can’t find out until all my symptoms go away, once my system’s cleared of whatever it is.

So my dizziness hasn’t really improved much over the past couple of weeks therefore… But I saw an ENT yesterday who said it can take 5-6 months and it’s only been four and a half so far. But every doctor and ENT I see say something different, so who knows. But it says something that I’ve become resigned to it now. Well, I am today, when I’m having a bad day I’m not so much. But I am typing this on my netbook while lying down having a break from packing because I got too dizzy to do any more.

In other news, Wallingford Rotaract won Club of the Year within the district, which was great and unexpected. I’m still quite thrilled about it and we found out at the handover on 4th July. I finished my remix fic, although it’s annoying the archive goes live this weekend because I’m away till Tuesday on the annual windmill trip, which should be nice and relaxing. Then when I come back I really need to write my who remix fic, since that’s due in on the 3rd…

Wimbledon starts on Monday! I have my fantasy team assembled, which includes Federer and Murray and an assortment of women who’s names I liked, since I know nothing about the women and don’t care about them either. I must remember to find my radio from wherever I put it when I moved in six months ago.

After deleting my Facebook account it started sending me notifications. So I had to undelete it to find out what was going on and found that not only had it ticked every notification box but it had also allowed my profile to be seen by everyone! So I reset it, but now I don’t trust them to actually delete it, even though it looks as thought they do now, so I haven’t. But after fixing all that I see no reason to ever visit the site again.

I had an epiphany about Twitter too and what I actually wanted to use it for. There’s loads of people I follow who I’m just not reading and who aren’t following me so we can’t have a conversation over it and when they post interesting stuff I want to ask about, I can’t ask on Twitter. So I have temporarily shunted everyone I don’t think I want to read into a column and I’ll see if I miss them, or if they’ve said anything I do want to read in a few days time. But I did discover there’s a Wimbledon feed, which is vaguely interesting. There are also feeds for various courts and Henman Hill! Tim Henman has an account he rarely posts to but interesting, Andy Roddick has one that he uses and posts interesting things to as far as I can see. Unlike Andy Murray…

I am looking forward to melliyna coming to visit on Wednesday because I want to see her, but also because it’ll be someone to talk to. Blogs and Twitter aren’t really the best replacements for a social life. But, I am up to 13 fast on the first exercise. Or I was on Friday – I spent yesterday too tired and dizzy to do anything and today too dizzy to do anything except for the things I really need to get done this weekend.

With useful headers and everything. Read more…

I had a good weekend – well, half a good weekend. I went to High Wycombe to drop off some knickers and other stuff for Knickers 4 Africa and go to selenay936’s ex-local bookshop. Where I saw her parents and spent £17 on books – that was being restrained. I’m still working through the books I got from my mum and grandmother for my birthday yet.

It was a good day and we somehow managed to avoid the worst of the weather. I was really tired when I got home, which I expected. What I didn’t expect was how dizzy I felt Sunday. All I ended up doing on Sunday is lying on the sofa reading and watching tennis because I wasn’t capable of doing anything else. Fortunately, there was tennis on – exhibition matches under the new Centre Court roof at Wimbledon and I enjoyed them, although I could have done without the camera moving so much. I didn’t even feel like I’d done that much either. I’m less dizzy now but back to going to bed at 10pm.

But on Friday I’m going to see if I feel well enough after work to go and see In the Loop, which wasn’t at the cinema walking distance from where I live now. But it is at the cinema walking distance from work on Friday and Saturday. Then it is at least a three day weekend, although I plan to do things with it – not least find a place for all these books to live…

Also, in the unlikely event that there’s anyone left who doesn’t have a Dreamwidth account that wants one, I have four invites. And, it turns out, Trillian Astra invites, since it’s now in beta. And probably has been for a while, I’ve just failed to notice, just gave them money…

After a week of not being too ill I’ve gone back to work and am so much worse. The trouble is it’s really busy and I had a really intense day, so tonight I’m having trouble mustering up the energy to hold my book up. Or keep my eyes open. I can’t even go to my Rotaract meeting, which is my sole social life at the moment.

I just want my life back. You wouldn’t think that was too much to ask, would you?

I’ve now had labyrinthitis for ten and a half weeks. It’s been slightly better for the last two, but shopping is currently the worst thing I can do. Closely followed by using the computer…

I had a good time at Conference at the weekend (there are even some photos). I did hate that I had to go to bed early because I was dizzy – watching people dancing and especially the bright, flashing lights didn’t help. But I did get to speak to pretty much everyone and it was fun. Apart from the last few bits of getting money from people I need to do (not helped by Royal Mail delivering all my post two weeks late) I’m looking forward to not doing any more Conference stuff and having time for things I want to do.

We went to see Star Trek yesterday, which was good, but I’ll write about that in a separate post so anyone who hasn’t seen it yet can skip it.

Because I haven’t got the energy for anything more substantial.
Read more…

I have a car! Well, I don’t have it exactly, there’s still boring admin and money-type of things to do, but once that’s all sorted, then I’ll have my car in my sticky little mitts. Figuratively speaking, because it’s quite big. It’s a Toyota Yaris, it has exciting things like power steering and a light in the boot, but most importantly, it’s red. Very red. Exactly the right sort of red, whereas Honda do three reds: two are too dark to be of any use and one is quite pinky, which is a horrid colour for a car. Although I did choose the Yaris because I liked it more, not just because it came in a better colour. I mean, I’d have lived with bright blue if I’d had to.

I am definitely still ill – after I’d gone out and chosen a car all I could do was lie around watching All Creatures Great and Small. According to the NHS Direct website it should last for one to three weeks, which was right for the last time I had it. But it’ll be four weeks tomorrow, and the website I found that says it lasts for three to eight weeks is probably more accurate in this case. Which means I could be ill till nearly the end of April. Which I could live with, as long as I knew I’d definitely be better by then. The only good thing is I don’t think I have the variety of labyrinthitis where you’re ill for years because I’m not ill enough.

I am freezing. But then I am only wearing one jumper. I have stupid heating that comes in on or off and as it’s so warm during the day I have it off, otherwise I wake up boiling. Because it’s still really cold at night, it means it’s quite cold in the mornings and evenings, plus my body clock seems to have decided it’s BST a bit early.

I’m definitely still ill. I put on a New Who episode and the beginning credits are the worst thing ever. Definitely not recommended if you’re dizzy. I have until Wednesday to get better, then I go back to the doctors, who are pretty much incapable of diagnosing anything I can’t work out for myself, so I’m not hopeful, but I just want to get better. I want my life back again.

I am going to decide what car I want this weekend, which’ll probably knock me out for the weekend with the half hour drive each way. But I definitely need a car that’s less effort to drive, because part of the reason I didn’t for so long while I was ill was because I didn’t have the energy to turn the wheel. The trouble is that they don’t make custom cars and what I really want is a Toyota Yaris at the front and a Honda Jazz at the back. And no, I don’t want James May to make me one.

I have discovered the source of one of the funny noises my car makes! I currently have four: one is something rattling in the dashboard, one is a squeaking noise when I break, two are squeaking noises when I’m going along. The squeaking noises are all louder with the window open, which hasn’t really been improving my drive home in a stuffy car with the sun right in my eyes. But while I was backing my car up after I’d turned it off, by the method of sticking my foot out of the door and giving it a push, as it’s on a slight slope, I discovered that when I move the car, it creaks. I’m quite looking forward to owning a quieter car.

I thought I’d try out a DVD in my computer this evening. It took me ages to work out which program it had installed as the DVD playing program and then I found I hate it with a passion. It’s rubbish. It takes over so much that you can hardly run any other program at the same time, and it takes the taskbar away so you can’t get to any other program (alt+tab refused to work). I couldn’t work out how to fast forward in any useful way and there’s no right click menu to tell it that actually you want subtitles/commentary. I was looking forward to getting an upgrade from WinDVD, but it turns out WinDVD was the pinnacle of DVD playing programs (and to be fair, I loved it, it’s far better than a DVD player). Am I right in thinking it’s the free version and PowerDVD is the paid for one that lets you take screenshots? Can I get it somewhere? Can I go back to Windows 98? (actually, since I have it on a virtual machine on this computer, the answer to the last one is yes, technically).