Rating: PG
Pairing: Sarah/Harry
Beta: hhertzof
Spoilers: None
Summary: Sarah’s pregnant, Harry’s the father, see the title for an idea of what happens next.

Sarah waited until it was really all over and she and the baby were clean before she let Harry in. He had become something of a source of amusement to the staff, as he'd had a wait of several hours in the corridor before the baby had finally been born. Apparently his pacing had got 'creative' and she made a mental note to ask him about it sometime.

He smiled at her as he approached but looked as tired as she felt. She could not sleep now, though, there were far more important things to do, like spending time with their daughter, who was fast asleep in Sarah's arms.

Harry sat on the bed carefully so as not to jostle her and only had eyes for the baby. "She's...amazing," he said. The expression on his face matched the one she had seen nearly eight months earlier when she told him she was pregnant.

"She is," Sarah agreed, with a smile.

He reached out a hand to touch her head with one finger and brush it down one cheek.

"Harry," she began and he looked up at her. "Do we have to give her away?"

He was silent for a moment, looking down at the baby. "Where would she sleep? How are you going to work and look after her? If the Doctor comes back are you going to take her with you?"

She wished she had not told him that last: the real reason why she did not want this baby. Her excuse was that it had been over the phone when he had pointed out she could still change her mind and she had already been in a bad mood. If the Doctor did turn up she could always ask him to come back in eighteen years. Except that she could not truly say that her daughter would never need her, and abandoning her like that would be cruel.

"There are two people," Harry said, breaking into her thoughts, "who are so desperate to have a child that they will bring up someone else's. And they're waiting for Elizabeth."

"I know." She had not forgotten that. She would complain at him for trying to guilt her into it, except it was working. She sighed. "I know."

They were quiet for a few minutes. The baby had woken up while they were talking and was now looking at Harry with big eyes, holding his finger in her tiny hand. Sarah might have been surprised at how her feelings had changed so much in such a short space of time, except that she had heard stories from other parents and had just been hoping she would not turn out like them.

The baby turned back to Sarah and had such an expression of trust on her face that she did not know how she could bring herself to break that. Except that the reasons for giving her up had not changed. Even now she could not see Elizabeth in her future, and she and Harry had had enough problems while she was pregnant that trying to coordinate themselves with a child while not arguing about it would probably be impossible.

"I have a camera," Sarah said at last, "down there, in my bag." She tilted her head towards the floor.

"You'll have to let go, Elizabeth," Harry said, with a smile, extricating his finger from her hand when the baby made no move to do as he asked. He dug around in the bag and was holding the camera when he stood back up.

Sarah put the baby down on the bed and took the camera from him. Elizabeth helpfully looked towards her and seemed interested in what she was up to. It did not last, though, because Sarah only got two shots before she screwed her face up and started crying.

"Hey, there's no need for that," Harry said softly, sitting back down and picking her up.

Elizabeth hit him in the chest with her fist but quietened down.

"Don't hit Harry like that," Sarah said, leaning over and taking the baby's hand in her own, "it's not nice."

The door opened and they turned towards it to see Aunt Lavinia in the doorway. "The woman from the agency is here," she said. "Are you ready?"

Sarah looked back at Elizabeth, wanting more time, but knowing even a few more minutes would never be enough.

"It doesn't have to be now," Harry said.

Sarah shook her head. "I think it should be." She let go of Elizabeth's hand reluctantly.

Harry bent his head to kiss Elizabeth on the forehead before handing her over to Aunt Lavinia.

Elizabeth seemed just as happy with the arrangement and Lavinia cooed at her as if she handled babies everyday. Sarah bit her lip as she watched them go and took a few deep breaths.

Harry stood where he was, hands shoved in his pockets. "There's nothing to stop her from contacting us when she's older," he said. "If she wants to know where she comes from."

Sarah was not sure she could take eighteen years of suspense. "Let's agree not to talk about it," she said, pulling the blanket up to her chest and twisting her hands in it.

"If that makes it easier."

She could just imagine the conversations they would have on this date in the future otherwise. "I think it will."

He nodded and turned his gaze to the window. Sarah looked down and let go of the blanket, flexing her fingers.

"I should go," Harry said. He had been here all day but now there was no reason for him to stay. She would have felt sorry for him if she had not been too busy feeling sorry for herself instead. She focused on him and he looked back at her. "Are you okay?"

"I just need some sleep, then I'll be fine. I have an article to write by the end of the week."

"Don't overdo it." He paused for a moment then bent to kiss her on the cheek before leaving.

Sarah settled down and pulled the blanket around her, even though the room was far warmer than she would usually like. She found that even as tired as she was her brain was too active. As much as she tried to stop herself from thinking about it, she ended up crying herself to sleep, even as she promised herself it would be the last time she would shed a tear over Elizabeth.

Share this post

• 

Fandom: Doctor Who | Type: Character: Harry Sullivan, Character: Sarah Jane Smith, Length: Long story, Pairing: Sarah/Harry, Series: Soap Opera, Type: Het | Link

Leave a Reply

If you haven't commented here before your review will be moderated and I have to approve it before it shows up. If you give your email address my reply will be emailed to you (check your spam folder if you're using hotmail or yahoo).