Rating: PG
Pairing: Sarah/Harry
Beta: hhertzof
Spoilers: Dreamland
Summary: Sarah’s pregnant, Harry’s the father, see the title for an idea of what happens next.

Sarah checked her cupboards and found the hot chocolate hidden behind the seven boxes of herbal tea she had somehow accrued. By the time she got back to the stove the milk was about to burn, so she quickly measured out the hot chocolate and milk into two mugs. They were probably both in need of the good stuff. She had not seen Nat for a while, as she had professed a desire to spend time with her father on their return from America. Sir Donald's death, and Josh's reaction to it, had obviously affected her more than Sarah had first thought.

When she brought their drinks into the lounge, Nat was examining the photos on Sarah's mantelpiece.

"Thank you," Nat said, as Sarah gave her one of the mugs. "Who is that?" She pointed at a photo taken many years ago in Scotland.

Sarah smiled, remembering the occasion. The Brigadier had only grudgingly agreed to take it and she'd had to take the Doctor by surprise to get him in it at all. "The man on the left is the Doctor. He's the friend I told you about who I travelled with. The other is Harry Sullivan, Will's brother." Sarah sat down on the sofa and sipped her hot chocolate. "Why do you ask?" It was not as if she had moved any of the photos that recently and Nat had seen them all before.

Nat did not answer, instead pulling what looked like a small piece of card out of her pocket and passing it over to Sarah. "I actually came to give you this back," she said. "I took it from your wallet while we were in America and I wasn't sure I was ever going to get the chance to ask you about it."

Sarah turned the card over to discover it was the photo she had taken when Elizabeth was born. She had more copies but she thought she had lost it and had missed it terribly when she got back to Earth. "And you want to know who she is."

"No."

Sarah looked back up at Nat and frowned.

"I kept it because I wanted to show it to my dad, so I could be sure. The baby in the photo is me."

Sarah swore her heart stopped for a moment. Nat could not possibly be saying what Sarah thought she was. "This is a picture of Elizabeth Sullivan. You can't possibly mean--"

"Yes, I can. My birth certificate tells me my parents names are Sarah Jane Smith and Harry Sullivan."

Sarah looked at Nat, trying to discern if there was anything obvious about her that would confirm her story. But people change and it was hard to see the baby in the woman sat in front of her. That Nat was sure she was right Sarah did not dispute but it was hard to believe. "How long have you known?"

"I wasn't sure. One name on its own doesn't prove anything. It was only when you mentioned Harry at Will's funeral that I was sure it must be you. I looked in your wallet on the off-chance while you were up in the Dauntless."

Sarah bit her lip. She'd had her own suspicions when she found out when Nat's birthday was, and later when Nat told Sarah she was adopted. She did not believe in coincidences, after all. But Nat was brilliant and amazing and everything she wanted Elizabeth to grow up to be, so she had dismissed the thought as wishful thinking.

"I... oh god." You did not find out your best friend was really your long-lost daughter everyday and Sarah did not know quite what to say. She almost laughed at the absurdity of it all and ended up grinning and shaking her head..

Nat did not seem to have the same problem, but then she'd had longer to take it all in, and she sat looking at Sarah almost as calmly as if they were talking about the weather. "I don't need you to be my mother," she said. "I already have one, even if she's not around any more." Nat looked down before continuing. "I wouldn't have seen my birth certificate at all if she hadn't wanted to talk to me about it before she died."

Sarah nodded. "I don't know how to be anyone's mother anyway," she said, before her eyes drifted back to the photo on the mantelpiece. "Oh god, Harry." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "He doesn't know and I don't know where he is. I don't even know if he's alive." She looked back at Nat, suddenly realising she had been playing with the photo between her fingers, and she put it down on the arm of the sofa.

"I'm sorry. He'd have loved to have met you." Although Sarah was not quite sure exactly who she was apologising to. Since they had agreed not to talk about it, Sarah had pretty much pretended the whole nine months never happened and had not got round to making up to Harry for how badly she had treated him at the time.

"That's okay. He wrote me a letter." Nat pulled it out of the same pocket the photo came from and passed it to Sarah.

It was dated the day Elizabeth was born - he must have written it after he got home. It was even readable; Harry had used his best handwriting on it. His life had got so much easier with computers that were more forgiving of typing mistakes. The letter surprised her because she had never heard Harry be that frank with his feelings. The content did not, though. He had written about the reasons why they gave her up, leaving out Sarah's selfishness in the matter. She certainly now had no doubts about Harry's feelings towards Elizabeth, not that she ever really had, even if she had not wanted to admit them to herself.

There were times when she had thought about what they had done, and wondered what might have been, had they kept the baby. She never really regretted her decision, though. Nat had been in enough danger as her friend; as her daughter it would have been even worse.

She handed the letter back to Nat, who tucked it away with care. Sarah stood up and went over to the window, turning her back to the room. "I'm sorry," she said.

"For what?"

"I don't know. Everything. Letting you go was not easy for me either."

"All the time we've been friends, you never said you had a daughter."

Sarah turned round and leant against the windowsill. "Only a few people knew at the time. Since then I've never spoken about it to anyone."

Nat was looking off into the distance and Sarah took the opportunity to look more closely at her. Even now she knew it was not easy to see the baby in her. But did she look a little like Sarah, or did her expression look like one of Harry's?

"Would it have been different," Nat said, forcing Sarah to focus again, "if you had known who I was? Or would you have put my life in danger anyway?"

Sarah wanted to tell her she never had, but she knew it was not true. She really liked Nat and did not want anything to happen to her, but when it came down to saving the world or saving one person she never had a choice. She shook her head, distracted, not quite wanting to voice the truth.

Nat finished her hot chocolate and twisted the mug round in her hands. Sarah tried not to look at her too differently but it was hard. She could not remember being this uncomfortable with Nat before. There were so many things Sarah wanted to ask her but they were for Nat to tell. She had signed away all her rights twenty five years ago and Nat was no longer her daughter.

"I'd like us to still be friends," Sarah said, at last, breaking the silence.

"I want that too." Nat smiled. "You have no idea how hard it was being in Mission Control when we lost contact with the Dauntless. Although being friends with you is never easy."

"You're not the first person to say that." Sarah smiled too. "And of all the people I imagined Elizabeth might grow up to be, I'm really glad it's you. I know Harry would be proud of you too."

"Thank you," Nat said and blushed, something Sarah had not seen her do very often.

Sarah stepped forward to pick the photo back up and held it out to Nat. "Keep it," she said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." And she was. "I don't need it any more." Elizabeth Sullivan had turned her world upside down for the second time but this time she was far happier about it.

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Fandom: Doctor Who | Type: Character: Nat Redfern, Character: Sarah Jane Smith, Length: Long story, Pairing: Sarah/Harry, Series: Soap Opera, Type: Het | Link

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