Rating: PG
Pairing: Sarah/Harry
Beta: hhertzof
Spoilers: Invasion of the Bane
Summary: Sarah attempts to get used to the relationships she has with her children.

Sarah yawned and blinked her eyes against the bright lights as she stepped into the house. In the lounge she threw her bag down on the coffee table, kicked off her shoes and lay back on the sofa.

Harry put down the magazine he had been reading and looked over at her. "Good night?"

"Mmm." It would have been better if she hadn't been feeling queasy for half of it. "How's Luke?"

"Fine. He's asleep."

"He's a good boy, really." It was handy having Harry back because then she had a babysitter, other than Nat and Alan. Especially tonight, since the latter was out himself, so Maria was at her mother's, and Sarah had been on a girls night out for Nat's birthday.

She closed her eyes and put her arm over them, hoping it would help. There was no good explanation for how she felt, as she was sure she had not drunk that much. When she heard Harry's voice she opened them again, to see him stood next to her, holding a glass of water.

He held the glass out. "You should drink this."

Unfortunately, her stomach decided that was it and she made it to the bathroom just in time. After rinsing her mouth out, she sat back on the floor and took a deep breath before looking up at Harry. He stood in the doorway looking down at her with a concerned look on his face.

"It must have been something I ate," she said, but she could tell he was not convinced. "I only had a couple of glasses and there's no way my alcohol tolerance has gone down that much." She was just glad she had not woken Luke up.

"Are you all right?"

She sighed and nodded. "I do feel a bit better now." She put her hand on her stomach, although it had settled down a little. Her skirt felt tight, though, so she undid the button. It had been a while since she had worn it but she hadn't thought she had gained that much weight. Her eating habits hadn't really changed, yet her clothes had started feeling tight around the waist lately. She couldn't blame it on Luke because he had been living here for six months now.

The wall felt cool as she closed her eyes and leant back against it.

Harry interrupted, though. "Sarah."

She opened her eyes again, but was not quite prepared to move any more than that just at the moment.

"You aren't pregnant, are you?"

"No, of course not, I..." She had been sure that she couldn't get pregnant any more, so hadn't worried about it when she slept with Harry when he came back, just before Christmas. Except... there was no way she could be certain about that. "I don't know." Thinking about it, now was just about the right time for morning sickness, if she remembered correctly.

He sighed. "Is there a twenty four hour chemist around here?"

She closed her eyes and put her head in her hands.

"At least you would be sure."

She had to give him that, but could not quite face looking at him, though. "There's a Tescos just opened up round the corner."

He nodded. "I remember seeing it. I'll be right back."

She had that glass of water after all, while he was gone and started to feel much better. It helped that she also found the time to put on her comfy pyjamas, which were not tight, and she was beginning to think she had imagined it all when Harry returned.

However, waiting for the result was just as horrible as she remembered. Except that this time Harry was there too, which was definitely not helping her nerves. She resorted to sitting very still and not looking at either him or the test, but very firmly at the clock. He paced, and she tried not to let that get to her either.

His footsteps stopped. "It's time. You can look now."

"Yeah." Sarah looked round at the small offending piece of plastic. Harry made no move to pick it up, though, so eventually she did. It was positive. "Shit," she said, putting it back down.

"Is it...um, I mean...?"

"It is yours. I haven't exactly had men beating down my door." She gave a short laugh. "Sorry." She looked down at her lap, clasping her hands together.

"No, it's my fault, I should have--"

She shook her head. "No, it's too late for blame and should have. There's only the question of what do we do now."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Harry stand up and go over to the window, hands in his pockets. She wondered why he didn't look at her. "What do you want to do?"

She had considered this while he was out, just in case. "We can't keep it. My life is too dangerous to bring a baby into. I can hardly let the world end just because I have a baby to look after." She had no illusions about Harry's role in the baby's upbringing, either. "And we're too old for this. Even if we live to an average age, it'll only be just about grown up by the time we die. That's not going to be fair on the child."

He turned to face her, arms folded. "But what do you want to do?"

She glanced up at him but could not hold his gaze. She shook her head. "It's not that simple."

"Are you really telling me that after you have held this baby in your arms, you can hand it to someone else, never to see it again?"

The expression on his face softened as he spoke and she suspected he felt the same way about this as she did. "I almost wish I never had," she said, quietly.

He came and sat next to her. "Then let's not."

"Even if it's a bad idea?"

He smiled. "At least this time we can afford it and we're more prepared. Those were just excuses. You can change your life, if you really want to, you've done it before. And..."

She frowned and put a hand on his arm. "What is it, Harry?"

"It's no easier to lose your parents when you're older, trust me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think. Your mother..."

He looked down. "And my father. He's ill and they don't think..." He rubbed a hand over his face.

"I'm so sorry, Harry." She squeezed his arm.

He turned and smiled at her. "But we're going to have a baby."

She let him change the subject and smiled back, but could not help the flutter of nerves in her stomach at his words. "Yes. We are."

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Fandom: Sarah Jane Adventures | Type: Character: Harry Sullivan, Character: Sarah Jane Smith, Length: Long story, Pairing: Sarah/Harry, Series: Soap Opera, Type: Het | Link

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