Angelic Paranoia

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Paranoidangel’s Fan Fiction

[Sarah Jane Adventures] Strange Men and Old Girls
Tuesday 27th November 2007

Rating: PG
Beta: hhertzof
Spoilers: Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane?
Summary: After the events in Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane?, Harry has a question to ask Sarah.

"Mum, there's a strange man at the door!"

Sarah sighed and put down her book. It was, she was ashamed to admit, a parenting guide. Feeling slightly panicky after she'd adopted Luke on what amounted to a whim, she'd trawled Amazon for the one that came most highly recommended. By the time it had arrived she'd had second thoughts about that and she'd hidden it at the back of the bookcase, not believing it could tell her anything she couldn't work out on her own.

But the thought of it had nagged at her until one day she had grabbed it and hidden it under her mattress. Since then she'd taken to reading it in the privacy of her bedroom, a chapter at a time, all the while ready to stuff it under her pillow whenever she heard footsteps. So far, she'd found the advice on naughty children entirely useless and the rest of it just confused her. How anyone was supposed to follow all the conflicting advice in it was beyond her.

One of the many things the book didn't tell her was how to deal with your son informing you there was a strange man at the door. Over time she'd learnt that with Luke 'strange man' could mean someone who didn't look human (therefore an alien), someone whose behaviour didn't conform to Luke's expectations (possibly an alien), or just someone Luke hadn't seen before (probably not an alien). Which meant that she had no idea what to expect and it was impossible to shout down for more details because Luke was apt to give them to her in the sort of detail that only ended up making both her and her visitor embarrassed.

So when she went downstairs she made sure to be ready to grab one of the weapons she kept by the front door, just in case. As she reached the bottom of the stairs she slowed and grinned, glad she didn't need to use any of them. "You're right Luke, he is a strange man."

"If that's the sort of greeting I can expect I won't come back again." Harry was smiling as he said it, though and it didn't stop him from returning her hug when she threw her arms round him in greeting.

"Come in out of the cold," she said, when she stepped back. Luke, she noticed, was looking understandably confused. "Put the kettle on, will you Luke?"

He nodded and went off to the kitchen obediently. She'd once told him that when they were in the company of humans, questions came later and he'd taken the advice to heart.

Harry stepped inside and followed her to the lounge. "So, how are you, old girl?"

She turned her head to scowl at him. "Not as good as I would be if you stopped calling me that."

He ignored that, as usual. "I'm actually here on an official visit."

"Oh?" She sat down on the sofa and motioned him to the seat opposite, wondering what NATO could possibly want with her. She counted on Harry, amongst others, to keep anyone official out of her affairs, except when she needed them.

He hitched up his trousers and sat. "It's about the meteorite that nearly hit us yesterday."

"Oh, that." She sat up straighter. She'd been half-expecting a complaint about that, but had forgotten all about it given the events that preceded it.

"That you didn't tell anyone about." Although his voice was stern he was struggling not to smile and she wasn't taken in for a minute.

"It was all under control."

He raised his eyebrows. "In which case stopping it sooner would have been helpful. No need to find an explanation the public would believe."

"I planned to, but I was indisposed at the right moment." She sighed. "Aliens trying to take over the world. You know, the usual."

"And you couldn't have taken five minutes to call UNIT?"

She bit her lip and stood up, going over to the fireplace. After a minute she turned back to face him. He was frowning at her, but had been waiting for her to explain. "Harry, do you remember anything strange about yesterday?"

He shook his head. "You'll have to narrow it down a bit more than that."

"Did you think about me at all yesterday?" She went back over to the sofa, but didn't sit down just yet, just leant against it.

His gaze followed her movements. "Believe it or not, you're not the centre of the universe. I don't think about you everyday, you know."

She had to duck her head to hide a smile. It was just typical that she'd been effectively erased from existence and Harry hadn't noticed.

"Tea," Luke announced, coming in with a tray holding three cups and a teapot. He'd even included a plate of digestive biscuits.

"Thank you, Luke." She smiled at him. In just a few months he'd managed to work out what making the tea involved depending on the company she had. Including himself in the tea round hadn't just been an attempt to insinuate himself into the conversation because she didn't generally keep him out of anything. And he had probably listened at the door anyway. Given the number of times he'd seen her do the same thing herself she couldn't really fault him for it.

He put the tray down on the coffee table and when he stood up Sarah put a hand on his shoulder. "Luke, this is Harry Sullivan, an old friend of mine. Harry, this is my son, Luke."

Harry stood. "How do you do," he said, holding out a hand.

Luke frowned and looked round at Sarah. "Clyde said that shaking hands wasn't cool."

Sarah turned her laugh into a cough as she considered the insult to Harry that implied, however unintentionally, and however true it may be. "With other children, maybe. With adults, if you don't, it's impolite."

"Chip off the old block, isn't he, old girl?" Harry said, with a grin as he shook Luke's hand.

"He's adopted," Sarah pointed out as all three of them sat down. "How do you know I had anything to do with the meteorite?" she continued, before he could answer back.

He reached out for a biscuit and dunked it in his tea. "Because most of the strange things that happen in West London have something to do with you." He had a sly look on his face as he looked up at her before covering it up by taking a bite of his biscuit. "I think you attract aliens, or something."

She rolled her eyes. "And you don't?"

"I just do it with less fanfare." He took a sip of his tea. "We tracked the source of the deflection to this house. Since I knew you, it was my job to ask you about it."

She toyed with the biscuit in her hand, ignoring Luke, who she could see out of the corner of her eye was experimenting on how much of his biscuit he could cover with tea in one go. "And when you go back, what are you going to tell your superiors happened?"

"I'll make something up, as usual." He sighed. "Just don't do it again." It wasn't much of a telling off considering his tone never changed. But he had given up trying to tell her what to do years ago, since it never worked.

She smiled at him and took another sip of her drink.

Luke had obviously decided that this wasn't the polite company where he should be seen and not heard, so he could ask a question. Sarah wasn't surprised he wanted to, since she'd noticed him looking between them, wide-eyed, however much he used his tea to disguise it. "Mum, why does Harry call you 'old girl'?"


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