Summary: Ian is not in the mood tonight.
Ian pulled away when Barbara tried to turn their goodnight kiss into something more. "Not tonight." He hadn't intended his tone to come out as long suffering as it did.
"But we must," Barbara insisted, kissing him again.
When they'd got married, if someone had told Ian he'd be saying no to his wife in bed he would have dismissed them as crazy, but the future is hard to predict. He gently pushed her away.
"Don't you want a baby?" Her tone was accusing and her glare one he'd learnt to apologise to. But not this time.
"You know I do." His voice was soft and he rubbed his thumbs against her shoulders. "But for once I'd like to enjoy each other without it being all about making a baby."
She slumped at that and moved out of his grip to lie down.
Ian lay back too, but he wasn't sure if that meant she'd forgiven him. After a moment he propped himself up on one elbow. In the dim light of their bedside light, he could see her eyes shining and a tear fall down her cheek. Now he felt terrible and moved closer to put an arm round her.
She relaxing into his hold and buried her face in his pyjama shirt. "I thought we'd have a baby by now. Everyone else has one."
Even though he knew it was an exaggeration, he felt the same way. "I know," he said, rubbing her back. It wasn't the first time they'd had this conversation and it was hard to find a way to comfort her. "Maybe we should see a doctor. There might be something they can do about it."
She lifted her head to look at him, her eyes were still wet. "And what if it's something they can't explain? Something alien?"
That was a worry. He didn't want to go back to when they'd first arrived home, attempting to answer questions and not being able to come up with believable answers. "We could always adopt," he said after a moment. They'd had this conversation before too, although less frequently. It had always felt like giving up, but now it was starting to become the only way they'd manage to have children at all. "There are children with no parents in need of a good home."
She shook her head. "They'll ask questions. About us, about where we were after we disappeared in 1963."
He sighed, but he knew she wasn't trying to make trouble and she was just pointing out the problems they both knew they'd have, thanks to the trip they'd taken with the Doctor. "Then we don't have children at all and get a cat instead."
She rested her head back on his shoulder and he held her closer.
"We don't have to decide tonight," he pointed out. "Let's have a month off trying and get some of our sanity back. We'll go and see the doctor and think about adoption, if we need it." One of them had to be rational about this. If it wasn't going to be Barbara it would have to be him.
"It's a pity we can't see the Doctor."
He chuckled. "He wouldn't understand what we were worried about."
That earned him a smile.
"Why don't we use some of our savings and go away for the weekend? Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where we won't see another person and no one will ask us when we're planning to have children." He knew what she was going to say when she opened her mouth and he put a finger to her lips. "We've been saving for a baby for a long time. Spending a little of it on us won't hurt."
"All right." She leaned up to kiss him - nothing more than a kiss this time.
"We will have with a baby," he promised her, as they settled down to sleep, "one way or another." He only hoped that was true.