Angelic Paranoia

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[Doctor Who] Double Desolation
Sunday 6th November 2016

Rating: Teen
Beta: Selenay
Pairing: Clara/Missy
Summary: Clara has dinner with Missy. Of course Missy has an ulterior motive, Clara just has to find out what it is.
Notes: Written for merryghoul

Clara approached the restaurant cautiously. With the windowed front she could see from the outside that it was a perfectly ordinary restaurant, albeit not the sort she could afford to visit often. Everything in it was a pure, bleached white. The chairs were white, the tablecloths were white, the chandeliers were white and the walls were white. The mirrors on either side reflected back all the white, the effect of which was somewhat blinding.

The splashes of colour came from the black napkins and the collections of pink and red flowers in yellow vases in the centre of each table. And from its only patron: Missy, a vision in purple at a table in the centre of the room. She looked for all the world like she was just idly perusing the menu, not paying any attention to her surroundings. Clara knew better.

As the door swung shut behind her the noise of the traffic cut off so suddenly she thought for a moment that she'd been transported somewhere else. But when she looked back over her shoulder a red bus trundled past in the queue of cars headed to the traffic lights.

Clara pulled her black jacket straight and strode over to Missy's table, stopping behind the empty chair. She waited a moment until Missy said, "Sit down if you're staying." She stared up at Clara over the tall, thin menu.

Clara wasn't sure if she was staying. Or if she sat down whether the chair would blow up or sink into the ground or something. But she'd come all this way, she might as well find out why Missy had asked her to dinner. So she sat. The only thing that happened was Missy putting down her menu and smiling at her.

Clara frowned. Missy smiling wasn't usually a good thing.

A click of Missy's fingers and a waiter came through the door at the back of the restaurant, carrying two glasses filled with a clear liquid on a tray. He set one down in front of each of them and then took a couple of steps back, holding the now-empty tray out on one hand and folding the other arm behind him.

Missy went back to looking through the menu. "The pan-fried monkfish sounds good, don't you think? And the seared scallops. I can't decide which to have. What do you think?"

Clara hadn't moved. "Why am I here?"

"Because you're curious."

She couldn't deny that. "You sent me an invitation to dinner."

"And you came." Missy glanced up briefly to smile at Clara again. It didn't make Clara any less suspicious. "Anything catch your eye? Or shall I order for you?"

Clara shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

Missy sighed and closed her menu. "You think this is an elaborate trick to kill you. Or use you to get at the Doctor."

Given that she hadn't seen the Doctor for a month, Clara didn't think the latter would have much chance of working. But the former very well could do. Perhaps she shouldn't have come here and maybe she shouldn't have sat down. But Missy was the sort of person you couldn't ignore. Not least because she'd quite happily kill people until she had Clara's attention. She'd learnt by now that it was generally better just to give it to her before anyone died.

Missy leaned forward and lowered her voice. "If I promise not to kill you or use you, will you eat something?"

"How do I know you'll keep your word?"

Missy pulled a gadget out of a pocket in her tight-fitting jacket. Since Clara hadn't seen it bulge, the pocket must have been bigger on the inside.

"What is this?" Clara picked it up from where Missy had placed it in the centre of the table. It was rectangular and black, with a red switch on the side, a blank screen on the front and what looked like a miniature disco ball stuck to one end.

"Weapon, of course. Also useful for very small discos."

Of course it had to be a weapon, but Clara wasn't about to switch it on to test it. "Any more weapons hidden in that outfit?"

"If I'd wanted to kill you, I'd have put a trap on the door," Missy pointed out.

There still could be a trap on the door. Or in the floor. They could have dinner and then Missy would kill her. Clara knew she was only alive as long as she was useful. She just wished she knew what Missy wanted to use her for. Maybe giving in would get her out of here alive. Or at least keep her alive long enough to avoid being killed. "All right. But I'm choosing what I want to eat."

Missy beamed and beckoned the waiter over. She seemed to have decided what she wanted, whereas Clara panicked, opened the menu and chose the first thing she saw. The waiter headed back to the kitchen and came straight out again with their meals.

Clara frowned as her lamb shank was placed in front of her. "How did you know I was going to order that?"

"Time travel. After dinner I'll go back to before I got here and tell the chef our meal choices. I do hate waiting for food, don't you?" With that she laid her napkin across her lap and started on her pheasant roulade.

"Is that allowed?" The Doctor would probably have something to say about such a frivolous use of time travel.

"Who cares?" Missy proffered a fork of pheasant in Clara's direction. "You must try this, it's divine."

Much as Clara was suspicious of the food and the drink, anything that Missy had eaten couldn't be poisoned, so she tried it. Missy was right, it was good. And Clara was hungry. However, once she'd cut a piece of her lamb, she sniffed it first. Her stomach rumbled at the aroma of the rosemary sauce. Lunch had been a hurried sandwich after needing to deal with Matt Pickering and Josh Stockton fighting for the third time this term, and there was no way she could smell this food and not eat it.

"What do you really want?" she asked, once she'd swallowed.

Missy made a show of needing a minute to finish her mouthful before she could answer. "Maybe I'm just lonely and would like some company." She did very good puppy dog eyes, Clara noticed. It had to be an act, and her opinion must have shown because Missy said, "You don't believe me. You don't believe Time Ladies can get lonely."

It wasn't as if she'd met many Time Ladies or Time Lords. The Doctor got lonely, she was sure of that. But Missy wasn't like the Doctor.

Missy speared a piece of Clara's lamb. "I just want to have dinner with someone I know who won't judge me."

"How do you know I'm not judging you?" She pulled the plate a little closer to her.

Missy tilted her head. "And I like looking at pretty things."

"Wait, you think I'm pretty?" It came out sounding a little more needy than Clara intended. It had been a while since anyone had taken notice of her in that way. And... No, she wasn't going to think about Danny.

Missy smiled. "Of course I do. I have eyes, don't I? And you're not quite as much of an idiot as some of the Doctor's other little pets."

She should have known that a compliment wouldn't come without an insult and sighed.

"I just want some fun." Missy leaned forward and whispered. "More fun with two."

"No." Clara stood, picking up the gadget that was probably a weapon, just in case. "I know what your sort of fun involves and I won't have any part in it."

"Pity." Missy stood too, tossing her napkin onto the table. "We could have so much fun, you and I." She came around the table. Clara stood her ground, folding her arms. But Missy didn't take the gadget as she'd expected. Instead she came up close and kissed her.

Clara, despite herself, kissed back. She'd missed this and Missy turned out, unexpectedly, to be a good kisser.

It was some time before Missy stopped, although she didn't move away. "There can be more of that sort of fun, if you want it." She reached up to unbutton her blouse, starting at the top.

Clara's grip tightened on the gadget. "What makes you think I want to?"

Missy paused in her unbuttoning to look at Clara like she was an idiot. Which was reassuringly normal, at least. "Your breathing's shallower and your heart rate's increased."

"Which means I liked it." So it was nice to be kissed and for a moment she could almost forget the sort of person Missy was. "Not that I'll like any more."

Missy took no notice, kissing her again, this time putting her arms round Clara and pressing close. With Clara's arms folded between them, Missy felt reassuringly not like Danny. When they broke off Missy whispered, "I don't want to be alone."

Clara closed her eyes for a moment, an image of her empty flat, and Danny's even emptier one, filling her mind. No, she didn't want to be alone either. This was a terrible idea, but it was just one night and maybe it would be nice not to think, the way she couldn't properly think while Missy was kissing her. She opened her eyes again. "All right, but no killing."

Missy grinned at getting her way. "I suppose I can manage that, as long as everyone leaves us alone." That last was said louder and the waiter scurried off back to the kitchen. Missy smiled. "I can make it feel like the universe moves. Shall I show you how?" She waved a hand and what Clara had previously thought was the door to the toilets opened to reveal her TARDIS. She rested her hand on Clara's arm, giving it a squeeze, before tugging at it.

Clara let herself be pulled along.


The universe did move. Or perhaps Missy's TARDIS had, it was hard to tell. Not that Clara cared. She lay relaxed, limbs deliciously warm and liquid, in a far more comfortable bed than she'd ever seen in the Doctor's TARDIS. She could just about manage to turn her head to look over at Missy. With her hair down she looked more relaxed and not like someone who would kill on a whim. Or perhaps it was the satisfied expression on her face. Clara smiled. Missy had tried to take control, but Clara hadn't let her. She'd surprised herself with the things she'd ended up doing to Missy. Who had seemed quite surprised herself.

"It's been a long time since I've done that." Missy stretched, not caring that it made the sheet slip off her.

Clara had to force herself to focus on Missy's face. "Perhaps this is something you should make time for."

"I think I'll keep you as my sex slave."

"No." Clara sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest. "I'm not going to be anyone's slave. Besides, what would the Doctor do if he found out?"

Missy shrugged. "Well, if you don't want to repeat the best sex of your life."

"I didn't say that," Clara said quickly. If only Missy had been wrong, but it had been the best sex of her life. "The Doctor calls round for me occasionally. Perhaps you could too. As long as you don't kill anyone," she added in a stern teacher voice.

"You're no fun." Missy slid out of bed and started putting her hair up. Clara suspected she was doing it on purpose so she got a good view. Clara just couldn't find it in her to complain.

"That's my offer, take it or leave it." Clara looked around for her clothes and dropped to the floor to dress, where Missy wouldn’t be able to see her unless she leaned over the bed.

"Fine." Hair now up, Missy lay across the bed, chin in her hands, watching Clara dress. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Clara repeated, slightly worried.

"Oh, do you need longer to rest?" she asked in a teasing tone.

"No, it's just…" That it was a terrible idea, no matter how much she wanted to do it. Never again would be too soon. And too far in the future. She pulled on her jacket and stood up. "Yes, I need longer to rest. Humans can only take so much stimulation."

"I'll be sure to remember that." Missy's grin was wicked.

"Goodbye," Clara said firmly. If Missy had been anyone else, Clara would have kissed her before she left. But Missy was an evil psychopath (most of the time) and besides, Clara's lips were sore. But she did peer round the door, before she closed it, to say, "Come back on Friday. After school."

Missy wiggled her fingers in a wave.

Clara thought she heard the TARDIS land when she reached the console room. It was hard to tell, since this TARDIS looked and sounded different from the Doctor's. Since Missy wasn't in the room to operate it anyway, Clara decided she must have been mistaken.

She pushed open the outside door to find the restaurant was now full of people. She smiled at the waiters as she left, but then a newspaper on the front desk caught her eye. It was already Friday.

Clara turned to find a now-dressed Missy had followed her. She put her hands on her hips, a stern expression on her face, but Missy just laughed and beckoned her back to the TARDIS.




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