Angelic Paranoia

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[The Librarians] How to Pick up Women in Bars
Sunday 1st January 2017

Rating: General
Summary: Ezekiel and Stone try and get a date
Notes: Written for Shadaras

"The one on the right," Ezekiel said, staring at the mirror behind the bar, which reflected the three women he and Stone were discussing. The women were all sitting at the bar and laughing with each other. The one on the right was pretty enough, but she was plain in comparison to her friends.

Stone made a face. "You're really not that picky, are you?"

Ezekiel shrugged. "She won't be expecting anyone to go after her first." He ignored Stone's eye roll. "Which one do you like?"

"The one on the left." Who was blond, long-legged and smiling at the barman as she paid for another round of drinks. Which meant that if Stone and Ezekiel had been considering offering to buy the women a drink in order to meet them they'd missed their chance.

Cassandra used her straw to move the ice around her drink, pretending not to listen to the conversation going on around her. Since Stone and Ezekiel had spotted the three beautiful women at the bar they'd given every indication of forgetting she was there.

"How are you going to get her to agree to go on a date with you?" Stone asked. "How are you going to get any woman to agree to go on a date with you?"

"Easy." Ezekiel grinned. "Pick her pocket, find out something about her, pretend I'm interested in it too."

Stone shook his head. "And what are you going to do when she discovers you're lying?"

"That's what Google is for." He waved his phone. "If you think that's such a bad idea, what would you do?"

"Talk to her," Stone said in a tone that suggested he was explaining this to an idiot. "Compliment her on something she's wearing. Ask about what she likes."

Ezekiel considered that for a moment. "Too much like hard work."

Stone rolled his eyes. Again.

Cassandra sighed. "Why don't you just go and ask them?" It came out a little louder than she'd intended, just as the music changed from one song to another. It was enough to draw the attention of all three women.

"Why did you have to do that?" Stone whispered, although it didn't stop him from smiling over at the women. The one on the left smiled back.

"Go and get her, big boy," Ezekiel said.

"Anything to avoid having to listen to you." Stone left his drink on their table and sauntered over to the women. "That's a lovely necklace," he said, pointing at the pendant the woman on the left was wearing. He leaned against the bar as he talked about it, getting into his stride. "You know most of the dreamcatchers you see around are just people copying the idea. They don't make them quite the same as the traditional Ojibwe people. But yours looks authentic."

The woman shrugged. "It's just some cheap thing I got from the market. I thought it looked pretty." Unconsciously she fiddled with it. But she didn't look as pleased to meet him as he had when he'd first approached her. "You just used that as an excuse to stare at my chest, didn't you?" She was wearing a low-cut v-neck top and the dreamcatcher hung just above her cleavage.

Stone took a step back. "No, no. I'm just really interested in art."

"Yeah, I've heard that one before." She turned back to the bar, dismissing him.

Ezekiel, meanwhile, had filched the wallet from the bag of the woman on the right, while she was distracted watching Stone approach her friend.

"I think this fell out of your bag," he said to her, holding the wallet out.

She frowned as she took it from him. "I could have sworn I'd closed it." She reached down to pick her purse up and the zipper was open halfway.

"Just as well I noticed." Ezekiel smiled his most charming smile.

"You must have been standing very close to see it." She gave him a look. "Did you take this?"

"No, no." He put his hands up. "I would never."

She didn't look convinced. "Because men have done worse things to get a girl."

Ezekiel gave her his most innocent smile. "Not me. Do you like pizza?"

With her friends being preoccupied with Stone and Ezekiel, the other woman came over to the table Cassandra had been left sitting at on her own.

"Are your friends competing to pick up my friends?" she asked, smiling at Cassandra.

Cassandra's smile was apologetic. "Sorry."

"It's all right, they can handle them. I'm Sandra." She reached out a hand.

Cassandra shook it. "Cassandra."

Sandra giggled. "How about that? I wish I was called Cassandra, it sounds much more elegant than Sandra."

"I don't know." Cassandra shrugged, but blushed. "It's longer."

"But it shortens to Cass or Cassie. Which sound so friendly." She sat down beside Cassandra, on the seat Ezekiel had recently vacated. "So tell me why you're here with these two guys."

"That was a waste of time," Ezekiel complained, as they left the bar and made their way back to the Library, the clippings book having decided now was the best time to show them something new. Them leaving probably came as a relief to Sandra's friends.

"It was with you around." Stone's expression was particularly annoyed. "I didn't even get her name, never mind her number."

"I got her name." Ezekiel smiled triumphantly.

"Yeah, because you stole it." Stone got up in Ezekiel's face. Since Ezekiel refused to back off, Cassandra had to step between them, putting her hands up.

"Guys." They separated and lapsed into silence but continued to glare at each other. "I got a date with the woman you both ignored."

They both turned to stare at her.

"You did what?" Ezekiel asked. He made it sound as if it was the most unlikely thing to have happened.

"And her number." Cassandra said it like it was no big deal. "Because tomorrow night I might find myself fighting gryphons in Peru or zombies in Shanghai and I'll need to call her to tell her I'll be late."

Stone shook his head. "I can't believe you got a date."

"How did you get a date?" Ezekiel asked. "What did you do?"

"I was myself."

But both of them looked suspicious at that. "That's what I did," they both protested.

Cassandra sighed. It was going to be a long evening.

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