Angelic Paranoia

Paranoidangel's Website

[Carry On] Love Me, Love Me Not
Monday 1st January 2018

Rating: General
Pairing: Simon/Baz
Summary: A spell has made everyone at Watford fall in love with Simon. All except one person.
Notes: For Pugglemuggle


Simon shut the door and leaned against it, panting from his sprint up the stairs. His room wasn't the best place to hide, since it would only stop half the people at Watford from coming up here. Except Penny. But at least it stopped some of them, unlike anywhere else at Watford. Apart from the Mage's office, but there was a chance the Mage was in there and the thought of him acting the same as everyone else was too awful to contemplate.

Having a few minutes alone in his room might be long enough to let him work out how to get out of this situation. Usually he'd ask Penny for help, but she was one of the people who thought she was in love with him. As was everyone else at Watford. Including, and most disturbingly, the teachers.

He'd tried casting This Ain't a Love Song once he realised what was happening. It hadn't done any good; he hadn't expected it to. He didn't know any spells to stop people thinking they're in love with you. Song lyrics weren't great for spells at the best of times and he never was the best of people to try them.

He heard footsteps on the stairs and braced for impact. He needn't have bothered: the door flew open anyway and he fell to his knees.

"What are you doing up here, Snow?"

Fortunately, it was only Baz. The one time the word 'fortunately' and 'Baz' could possibly be used in the same sentence. Not that Simon wanted to see anyone, least of all Baz, but he was glad it was only one person. Though they were bound to be others following him.

Simon got to his feet to face Baz, who was sneering at him. As usual. "Hiding," Simon replied. "I didn't know where else to go."

Baz shook his head. "Crowley, you're an idiot."

Simon shrugged. "Where do you think I should go?"

"Somewhere else?" Baz suggested. "Or maybe spell the door so no one else can come in."

That's a good idea. He should have thought of that. Penny would have. His wand was still in his hand and he pointed it at the door. "Locked out!" He heard a clunk, like a bolt going across, even though the door had no lock.

"So now you're locked in here with me." Baz looked far too pleased with himself as he lay down on his bed, arms behind his head.

Simon stayed standing. "Why aren't you affected?" Anyone else would be hanging off him by now, attempting to kiss any part of him they could reach.

"Maybe it doesn't affect me." Baz stared at the ceiling.

Simon frowned. "Because you're a vampire?"

Baz scowled. "Maybe because I cast the love spell."

Simon strode over to Baz's side of the room to loom over his bed. "Why would you do that?"

"To piss you off?" Baz smiled.

It wasn't an answer, but it wouldn't surprise Simon if it was the truth. That was pretty much why Baz did anything. "All right, I'm pissed off. Now reverse it."

Baz studied his finger nails. "Hmm. No, I don't think I will."

Simon summoned his sword and held the point at Baz's throat.

Baz didn't flinch, but he did look up. "If you cut my throat I won't be able to reverse any spells."

He was right, damn him. But Simon held the sword there a little longer, to make the point, before putting it away.

"It'll probably wear off after twenty four hours." Baz grinned.

Simon resorted to glaring at him, then locked himself in the bathroom.


"You didn't cast that love spell."

It was a week later and the last day of term. Snow and Baz were packing. Baz had a large enough suitcase and little that he needed over summer, so throwing things in was good enough. Snow was folding his uniform as if it was cashmere from Harrods. Baz had been making scathing comments, as usual, but not only did Snow not react, he came out with a comment about the love spell instead.

"Didn't I?" Baz carried on, making it appear like he wasn't listening and hoped Snow would drop it.

"Penny said Agatha did it. She was trying to decide whether or not she loved me and got interrupted while casting Love me, love me not."

It was typical of one of Snow's friends that she wouldn't know that sort of thing. Of course Baz hadn't known he was in love with Snow at first either, but that was different. Not least because he'd been happier not knowing.

He made a non-committal noise, and held up a pair of plain, black socks as if he was trying to decide whether to leave them or pack them. He felt Snow approach and turned, just as Snow was reaching out to touch his shoulder. It almost made Baz show his fangs, but he opted for looking bored instead.

"Then why didn't it affect you?" Given the expression on Snow's face, he had been hoping Baz would come up with an explanation. Which he had at first, but he hadn't expected it to be disproved.

"I don't know. Why don't you ask Bunce?"

"I did." Snow looked unsure of himself. It wasn't an unusual look on him.

"What did she say?" Baz kept his expression carefully neutral so as not to appear curious.

"She said it affects all people within a one mile radius. All people," he repeated, with emphasis.

Baz turned back to his bed and decided to pack the socks.

But Snow hadn't finished. "Except for people already in love with the subject."

Baz swallowed. He wanted to pass it off as if it was nothing; to find another excuse, but he couldn't move.

"Baz," Snow said softly.

He could count the number of times Snow had used his name. It didn't make him feel any better. "We're enemies." It didn't come out in his usual snarl. It barely came out at all beneath the weight on his chest.

"Is that why you keep trying to kill me? Because You always hurt the ones you love?"

Only Snow could fail to cast a spell when he wanted to, yet accidentally add magic to his words. Assuming, of course, it was accidental.

It affected Baz instantly and he turned to Simon with his fangs out.

Snow took a couple of steps back, tripped over his feet and fell back across his bed. Baz loomed over him, hungry.

Fortunately for them both, Snow had left his wand on his bed. He picked it up. "I didn't mean it!" he cast desperately, nearly hitting Baz's head with his wand.

For once, it actually worked. Baz wouldn't be surprised if it was the first spell Snow learnt to cast properly. Baz felt his fangs retract and straightened up. Although he stayed by Snow's bed, unable to keep his eyes off Snow's neck. He could smell the blood so close to the surface, strong enough to overpower the scent of school soap.

Still, he was screwed. He couldn't explain away his reaction to the spell. Or that he reacted to it at all.

"I'm sorry," Snow said, sitting up. "But now I know the truth," he added, quieter, not taking his eyes off Baz.

Despite finding breathing a struggle, Baz's eyes were drawn to Snow's. They were still nothing special, except they were Snow's. "What are you going to do?" He was entirely at Snow's mercy. The Anathema wouldn't stop Snow getting him thrown out for being a vampire. As for the other thing, the best he could hope for was that things would be less awkward after a summer apart. Not for one minute did he think that it would lessen his feelings this time, given that it hadn't last year.

Snow didn't seem to have a clue, given the way he frowned as he stood up slowly. Baz stayed where he was, although what use standing up to Snow was at this point he didn't know. It did give him a very good view of Snow swallowing, which didn't help.

Baz was at the point of backing away, probably all the way out of the room, when Snow reached up and kissed him.

The summer holidays suddenly felt far too long.