Angelic Paranoia

Paranoidangel's Fanfic

Doctor Who

Doctor Who: The Soap Opera

Rating: PG
Pairing: Sarah/Harry
Beta: hhertzof
Spoilers: Dreamland and Invasion of the Bane
Summary: Sarah's pregnant, Harry's the father, see the title for an idea of what happens next.
Note on Harry’s family: Although Will says he’s Harry’s stepbrother, he also says that when his father’s first wife died he got married and had another family. The only way I can make sense of their relationship is if they share a father, and it was Harry’s mother he was talking about. So that’s the family setup I’ve used here.

Sarah was a nervous wreck by the time she got to Harry's flat. She had put off telling him until their date to give her time to get used to the idea. At least, that is how she justified it to herself. Time had not made it any easier, though, and she was not looking forward to the ensuing conversation. Originally she had teased him about the idea of him cooking but had been looking forward to seeing what he came up with. Now she could not face eating anything; the butterflies in her stomach made that impossible.

Once inside, she let him take her coat off her without her usual complaint about being able to do it herself. He frowned at her and she knew he would not let her go very long without saying anything. While he hung her coat up, she went into the kitchen and turned everything down to the lowest setting before it could burn. Once Harry heard what she had to say, he would be unlikely to think of that himself.

It was really sweet of him to cook and she was touched by the thought. She just wished she did not have to spoil the evening, especially given that whatever it was smelt so good. She considered not telling him and just going ahead with her plans anyway, but she knew that would not be fair to him and she would not be able to keep it a secret for long.

"Sarah," she heard behind her as Harry found her.

She turned to put her back to the cooker and face him. He stood in the doorway looking concerned. Sarah put her arms behind her to have something to hold on to, but the cooker was hot and she quickly brought them back to her front, rubbing her palms.

Harry came towards her until he was close enough to take her hands. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Sarah looked down, trying to decide what to say. This was only Harry, it should not be that hard to talk to him! She could not possibly be afraid of what he might say and yet she was. He rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs and she tightened her grip a little. Before she could lose her nerve entirely she just came out and said it, "I'm pregnant." She did not look up until afterwards.

She discovered the cliché was true, as Harry looked very much like he had been hit in the head with a brick. She could feel her heart pounding as she waiting for his reaction, so she was slightly disappointed when eventually he just said, "Oh."

"I'm sorry, I should have... there wasn't really a better way of putting that."

He shook his head. "We'll have to get married."

"No," she said quickly, letting go of his hands and slipping out around him. "Stop that thought right there. You and me," she continued more softly, "we're never going to work. We'll end up killing each other if we're forced to spend too much time in each other's company." She gave a smile to soften her words a little but she did not really feel it.

He turned and went into the living room, hands in his pockets. She followed him and remembered she'd had longer to get used to the idea. After all, when she found out for sure she had spent several minutes panicking before she could think clearly.

"You know I'm right," she continued when he stayed silent.

He stopped in the middle of the room, staring at nothing and nodded. "But for the sake of the baby--"

She took a step towards him and cut him off with a hand on his arm. "There's not going to be a baby."

Now he turned to face her, dislodging her hand in the process.

"I'm having enough trouble as it is, getting my career going again. A baby really isn't going to help. And I just can't...." She took a breath. "I don't want a baby, it doesn't fit in to my plans for the future."

"You're talking about murder!"

She took an involuntary step back, not having anticipated his words or their volume. Of all people, she was not expecting Harry to make her feel guilty. She was quite capable of doing that on her own. "I didn't say it was an easy decision."

"And do I get a say in it?"

"Of course you do. I told you beforehand, didn't I?" She winced as she said it. Pointing out the possibility that she might not have was probably not a great idea. Thankfully, he ignored it.

"What if I wanted to keep it?"

Oh god, she was hoping he did not. She could not quite take his accusatory stare and dropped her gaze to the floor. This was not something they had talked about - their relationship had never been that serious. It was fine for now and they both knew it. She hoped they could still be friends whatever happened in the future, but a baby was a big commitment and she was not ready for any commitment at all. Especially given that she was waiting for the Doctor to come back for her.

She sat down on the sofa. Either way Harry was still her friend and she could not just ignore his feelings about this. "Do you really?" she asked, although she was not at all certain she wanted to know the answer.

He paced around the room as he spoke. "I don't know. I like the idea of having children one day but now's probably not the best time. Maybe there will never be a good time, I don't know. It's a lot to throw at a chap."

"I know. But we don't have a lot of time."

He turned to look at her from the other side of the room. "Do you really not want it? If your career was not an issue, and there are plenty of women who have babies and carry on working nowadays, would you still feel the same?"

She bit her lip and put her arms round herself. Any other time she might have been glad Harry had taken notice of some of the things she said and was coming round to the idea of women's lib in some form. "I'm really scared," she said. Even the monsters she had faced with the Doctor were nothing in comparison.

Harry came back over to the sofa to sit down beside her and put his arms round her. Sarah rested her head against his shoulder and hugged him back.

"Me too," he said, quietly.

"I just can't see a future with you and me and a baby, I don't think it will work. I don't want to be a single mother and I just can't marry someone I don't love."

He pulled back a little way to look at her. "If it's what you really want then I'll support you."

She gave a relieved smile at that, although she did not feel much better about it. "One day," she said, gently touching his cheek, "you'll find someone who wants the same as you and you'll get married and have lots of little Sullivans running round the place."

"Maybe," he said, but he smiled at least. "Do you want me to come with you, when you, um...?"

She remembered why she was with him in the first place - you could always depend on Harry. Right now she still needed that but once this was over she was going to have to start living her life on her own again. "That would be nice, thank you," she said, and kissed him on the cheek. She started to feel that maybe everything was going to be all right after all.

Chapter 2 - Doing the Deed »