Angelic Paranoia

Paranoidangel's Fanfic

Doctor Who

Letters, Unsent; Argument, Unresolved

Rating: General
Summary: Five letters Ace writes to the Doctor and one she writes to Ace.
Notes: Written for CeruleanTactician

Dear Doctor,

I'm still mad. I know you'll never get this, but I need to tell you and I don't have any way of contacting you. I'm so angry I could hit something.

I knew you were manipulative, but I thought you cared about me. Now I'm not so sure any more. Do you ever consider anyone except yourself? I was expendable out there, and I was right. I was right and you were wrong and I nearly died because of it.

Do you understand how scared I was? Because I don't think you do.

Sill angry, still scared,

Dear Doctor,

I still have nightmares, you know. Some of them have Daleks in them. Some of them have Nobody No-One in them. Some of them have you in them. Sometimes you're the reason I wake up scared in the middle of the night. Once, I used to think you would protect me, that as long as you were with me there was nothing to be scared of. Now you're the one I need protecting from, in my dreams.

I hate it.

You were once the man who kept the monsters away. Now you're the monster under my bed.


Dear Doctor,

I wonder what you're doing now. Still travelling, I suppose. Did you find another lost, gullible girl to go with you? Did you promise to show her the universe, then lie to her and never tell her your plans until she worked them out for herself?

Maybe it's a boy instead who thinks he can take on Daleks and Cybermen and evils from the dawn of time. Do you sacrifice him to save the universe? Do you think you're doing the right thing?

Maybe you're not travelling with anyone. Maybe you don't make the same mistakes twice.


Dear Doctor,

Do you remember going to the market on Megantu? You lost your umbrella. The stall holder who found it thought it was a rare antique and when you couldn't talk him round, I had to threaten him to get it back.

Or when you nearly started a riot on Tuthea by saying "Excuse me" and I had to insult everyone in earshot to calm them down.

Or the day I thought I'd perfected the timer on my Nitro 9 and we want to an abandoned quarry to test it out.

Those were good times. I miss them.


Dear Doctor,

You know what the truth is? I don't hate you.

No one is ever all right or all wrong. Sometimes you got it wrong. Sometimes I did. And I often jumped to conclusions about you.

Sometimes, I find myself in a situation where I don't know what to do. And explosions aren't always the answer (sometimes they are). I think "What would the Doctor do?" Then I wade in without a plan and somehow everything works itself out.

I hate that we left on an argument. I wish I knew where you were so we could talk.


Dear Ace,

It was a surprise to see you again. But a good surprise, I promise. You always used to tell me exactly how you felt and I missed that when you left.

But I got to see how well you were doing on Earth, helping to save the planet. This was the work that I knew you'd be good at. Not, not just good, amazing. Ace, even. Without me teaching you you'd never have got there. Wait, is that too boastful?

Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm proud of you and keep up the good work.

The Doctor