Angelic Paranoia

Trip didn't know how long they'd sat on T'Pol's bed, holding hands. It was long enough that he'd stopped crying and was staring at the shadowed wall above her desk.

Eventually T'Pol said, "I need to meditate." Her voice was quiet, but the silence had settled round them and it sounded louder than it was.

He nodded, letting her slip her hand from his. "Can I stay?" He spoke in the same hushed tones.

She turned to him, a questioning look on her face.

"I don't want to be alone," he explained. Lying alone in the dark just wasn't appealing. And going somewhere where there were people going about their normal business felt wrong.

After a moment, she said, "You may stay."

While she set up her candles, he pulled his boots off. As she meditated he sat on the bed watching her and wishing he had some way of being at peace the way she looked now. There was always neuropressure, but he had one arm he couldn't really use, and it felt a little too intimate just now. The same way everything felt wrong at the moment.

He didn't remember lying down, never mind falling asleep, until T'Pol was shaking him. It had just been a dream, he realized. The old nightmare, the recurring one that he hadn't had for a year, with Lizzie in the path of the Xindi weapon. But this time she'd been holding a baby: her namesake.

He focused on T'Pol, who was a much more pleasant sight. "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you."

She didn't look any less concerned, but she let go of him, and motioned for him to move over. He smiled a little, relieved she was letting him stay. As he got under the covers and shifted over to the wall side of the bed, he noticed that her meditation candles had died down. He frowned. "How long were you meditating?"

She didn't look at him as she climbed into bed. "Two hours."

Her tone and expression gave nothing away, but he knew that wasn't normal and now it was his turn to look worried. "Are you all right?"

She said nothing for moment, while she stared up at the ceiling. "I thought it would help me sleep."

He could see the logic of that. Perhaps it would work on her. But despite her calming presence beside him, just far enough away not to be touching him, the nightmare was too fresh in his mind to sleep again.

As if she could read his mind, she brushed his arm, then reached out to take his hand.

He turned to smile at her. She was the only person who could understand how he was feeling, because she felt the same way. She could put a braver face on it and insist otherwise, but he knew her better than that.

She met his gaze. "We should sleep," she said, as if it was that easy.

He nodded and tried to relax, but was glad that she didn't turn the lights off. The dark held too many terrors, even with T'Pol beside him.

Despite his pessimism, there was something about her being close that enabled him to sleep. Maybe it hadn't been the neuropressure that had helped him sleep in the Expanse, maybe it was just T'Pol.

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