Angelic Paranoia

"How long do we have to hug for?" Spike peered over Lynda's shoulder, trying to see his watch. But the way Lynda kept moving, despite the hugging, meant he had to give up on that idea and keep hold of her.

"Twenty minutes." Lynda looked back over her shoulder to shout, "Sarah, have you finished that article yet?"

Sarah glanced up from her typewriter long enough to say, "Nearly." When she put her head back down, her typing sped up.

"Twenty minutes?!" Spike tried to judge Lynda's expression to tell if she was serious, but even if the angle made it difficult, the fact that she wasn't concentrating made it impossible.

"Kenny, where are you going?" Lynda dragged Spike over to the newsroom door after Kenny, who was on his way through it.

Spike tried to stand his ground, but Lynda just trod on his feet. "Ow. Aren't we supposed to stay in front of the video camera?"

"We'll take it with us. Kevin!" Lynda stopped long enough to looked round, frowning. "Where's Kevin?"

"Taking photos of Sam on a date with a teddy bear," Tiddler replied.

"Oh, yes. Kenny!" Kenny was out in the corridor by now, which just meant Lynda shouted louder and pulled Spike harder.

By the time twenty minutes was up his ears would be ringing, his arms aching and his feet flat. He was pretty sure she didn't mean to kick his legs, but since protesting at this treatment wasn't getting him anywhere, he gave in. "Tiddler, can you point the video camera at us?" If he and Lynda were going to have to hug for twenty minutes they might as well get it all filmed now and not have to repeat it later. He didn't think he'd survive a second attempt.

Tiddler gave him a sympathetic smile and took the video camera off the tripod, so she could follow them with it.

"Kenny!" At Lynda's appearance in the corridor, he stopped, one hand on the door handle. "Where are you going?"

"Home." Spike saw the hopeful look on his face before Lynda spun them round so she could stare at Kenny over Spike's shoulder.

"Home? But Kenny, we've only done a hundred items. There are two hundred on the list."

"And I haven't done anything else for four days. I need some sleep. You do remember what that is, don't you?"

"You can sleep when we've done the other hundred."

"Lynda." Spike knew how this would go if he didn't intervene. As it was he'd planted his feet wide enough apart so she wouldn't be able to get any closer to Kenny. Although it wasn't as if Lynda needed proximity for an argument. "We don't have to win."

She glared at him. "Then what's the point of doing it at all?"

"For fun. You do know what fun is, don't you?" He tried a smile. It didn't work.

"Yes." She nodded. "Winning."

Spike sighed.

"Ah, there you are," Colin said, coming into the hallway behind Tiddler and the video camera. "I've done items 24, 92 and 156, the bucket of soapy frogs is ready, and Frazz is sewing together 99 Winnie the Poohs. I just need you to sign the waiver and we can get on with item 106." He grinned at them and left.

There were some things Spike did not want to know. In this case, it was everything Colin was doing. Or had other people doing. He didn't even know Frazz could sew. It was entirely possible he couldn't.

Lynda frowned. "What's 106?"

"Thought you had the list memorised, boss." Spike grinned.

Tiddler had a copy on her and she unfolded it. "I think you should read it," she said, handing it over to Lynda.

Lynda's eyes widened. "That's illegal."

It took Spike a little longer to read it, as the list was upside down for him. "I don't think they meant it literally."

They exchanged a glance.

"I'm going to kill him." Lynda let go of Spike, who didn't protest all that much, and was off after Colin.

"You'd better bring the video camera," Spike said to Tiddler, flexing his aching arms. "You'll get item 107."

"It's only for another three days," Kenny said, smiling, as Tiddler followed Lynda back into the newsroom.

Spike just glared at Kenny, as he slipped outside, away from the mayhem.

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