Angelic Paranoia

Paranoidangel's Fanfic

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds

Time and Memory

Rating: General
Spoilers: Memento Mori
Summary: Pike and Number One discuss the aftermath of the events in Memento Mori

Repairs were going to take some time, Pike thought as he looked around, but they’d survived. Well, all but seven of them. Those seven people weighed heavily on his mind as he entered sickbay.

Given the last time he spoke to M’Benga they were running out of supplies he found things were more under control than he expected. But then he should have expected that too. The medical staff were endlessly resourceful, as was everyone on the Enterprise. Which was how they’d survived this battle.

The patients were all either asleep or resting, recovering from their injuries. Chapel was checking on one of them and M’Benga was taking an IV off Una. Pike went over to him. “How is everyone?”

M’Benga straightened up and beamed. “They will all live. Some will need to stay here for a few days, but now the medical systems are up and running again we can get them healed faster.”

Pike smiled – both from relief that no one else was dying, and at the doctor’s enthusiasm. “Good job,” he said.

M’Benga nodded at the praise and left him to speak with Una, who’d been watching them.

“How are you feeling?” She’d clearly suffered a wound to the stomach given the dressing around it, but she was a healthy red color.

“I’m fine.”

He raised his eyebrows. He’d heard that before. Una would say she was fine even if her leg had fallen off.

She tilted her head a little. “I’ll be fine. How many did we lose?”

His good mood evaporated. “Seven.” It was too many. Seven too many.

She nodded. “Well, it could have been worse.”

He scowled. He knew what she was doing – after all they’d been here before. Losing people never got easier. But then it wasn’t something he wanted to get used to. As Spock had said, he valued life and he couldn’t find a way to find the silver lining when his people died. They had friends and family who wouldn’t care about the numbers.

“What are you thinking?” She was looking up at him with a worried expression.

“I’m not thinking of resigning if that’s what you mean.” He had thought about it. It was a time when the responsibility of all these lives hung heavy on him and he wondered if he could go through this again. Because it would happen again: space was dangerous and people died. That’s why they needed Starfleet Remembrance Day.

She looked relieved and he explained, “If I resign I won’t be around to save the cadets in the future.” Although it still felt like he was playing a game with people’s lives, no matter how sure he was about his decision.

She sighed. That obviously wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear.

“No need to worry about me,” he said, feigning cheerfulness. She needed to concentrate on getting better.

“I do worry.” She frowned. “It’s my job to worry about you.”

He smiled. “I’m fine.”

She gave him a look.

“I’ll be fine.” He would be; he always was in the end, it would just take time.

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